The Wandering: Vagabond..:)

Letter to My Mom 2

2012-01-09T08:25:00.000-08:00

mama, benar-benar Via merindukanmu sekarang, dua minggu lagi..:*, sudah tidak sabar mendengr ceritamu ttg pembangunan desa, rapat-rapat yang kau jalani,
tidak sabar melihat kebun buah dan bunga depan rumah yang di depan rumah.

mama, kalau dipikir2 benar2 beruntung Bapa mendapatkan dirimu. teringat pada PEMILU tahun 1999 lalu, saat dirimu menjadi ketua TPS, saat dirimu memegang mikrofon dan berbicara di depan. Via melihat dari belakang, dan mendengar semua orang memujimu. memang mamaku cantik dan smart...hahahahah

apalagi si Bapa waktu itu, wajahnya sudah berbinar2 sambil senyum-senyum tentu saja. hahahahaha... * ada yang bangga ni ye...wkwkwkw

dan bapaku itu selalu menunggumu pulang ke rumah. duduk di kursi plastik yang dikeluarkan dri dalam rumah, di bawah pohon mangga. melihat ke depan jalan, kalau-kalau mama sudah datang. Lewat jam 6 sore, tentu saja, si bapak akan menyusulmu...:))

Kalian berdua lucu sekali :))...

tidak terasa sudah 24 tahun lamanya umurku...wajar jika saat dirimu ke sini, banyak waktu dihabiskan untuk bercerita ttg sepupuku yang sudah menikah dengan si ini dan si itu...hahahhahahaha...

mama, izinkan via memenuhi janji dulu pada nusa dan bangsa, dan pada Dia yang di atas.. janji rahasia yang engkau pun pasti sadari itu...bukan untuk S2 atau menjadi orang besar seperti yang dipikirkan oleh mereka...:) tetapi untuk memenuhi sumpah yang diucapkan di hari itu...dengan tiga jari diacungkan... penguatan janji sebelumnya yang diucapkan oktober 2010 yang lalu..dan tentu saja doa siang dan malamnya...

Mungkin mama ataupun seseorang merasa tersisih dengan pilihan ini,..tapi Via hanya minta restu bukan apa2... seandainya ini bagianku akan Via kerjakan....:)

dear Lord, for your LOve I've been taken to the land where I become a stranger...:)

Letter to My Mom..

2011-12-29T01:35:00.000-08:00

Hari ini,kembali teringat kepadamu,
Terbayang saat engkau menjahitkan baju untukku

Mohon maaf sepenuh hati jika selama 24 tahun hidupku belum bisa membahagiakanmu
Menurut standar yang disetting oleh mereka
Mohon maaf jika sampai dengan 24 tahun hidup putrimu belum dapat meringankan bebanmu

Hari ini adikku yang tidak bisa kau pungkiri adalah putri kesayanganmu bersamaku
Melihatnya bergerak, berpindah berbicara, dia mirip sekali denganmu, tekun teliti dan rapi

^___^

Dear mama, Via dapat idola baru sekarang, Sarah L. dia perawat " beyond border" menurutku, bayangkan mama, tadinya semua orang bilang, kalau jadi perawat ya lurus-lurus saja di rumah sakit, puskesmas.

Tapi dia membuat keyakinan Via untuk kembali melakukan hal-hal diluar kotak menyala-nyala lagi, bayangkan dia juga dosen, pekerja LSM di bidang advokasi kebijakan kesehatan, relawan,pernah ke Afrika,:) Keren...

Teringat niat Via mempelajari kebijakan kesehatan, advokasi, kebudayaan, dan dia benar-benar role model baru...dan hampir mengendap selama 1 tahun ini karena situasi.
Dia membuat Via berpikir I can make it. Beruntung sekali Minggu ke 2 Desember ini.
Dia membuat Via berpikir tentang apa yang Via mau dari dahulu..heheheheh...:)

Mama ada misi rahasia sekarang dengan kata kunci TBC. :) Doakan Via ya Mama..semoga lancar. Love You..:*

Kaleidoscope 2011 ( finally done)

2011-12-27T19:12:00.000-08:00

It's 11.06 pm. I am listening to the conversation of my sister and her twin; and I feel so outsider. :P . Again I realized that a lot of things I don't know about them. :P
Hey, I'm Looking at the pages of my life that faded a lot of memories :*
Back to the story I want to illuminate. It's story of 1 year I've just almost passed through.
Starting with trying to finish the half of Psychiatric Stage in Bogor. I found my self full of blessing to meet you dear friends * U*eh, I*am, Su*ron,and the others . Thank U very much for lifting up my life. Every moment with you was the sweetest one.

Hey Su*ron, when I hear the song " Percaya Padaku" Ungu, I remember you, as well as I remember Pak Jjg, when I hear an old song of Scorpion. * sigh.Adeku Desy AP..You know it very well... JIwa memang luar biasa..gerbong tiada duanya...

I know that words won't be able to express how much you did for my life. So, I hope a prayer for you to the Lord of Universe, may cover us in serenity.
In some situation, we'll come to the time while everything would be very clear, and we show our self obviously. without wearing any mask. Su*kron and Pak Jjg...I bet you're great musician..:)

* for my best friend YAC, what a great job friend when we took a girl with no power to help her self to RSJ. For some people who read this writing may complain that we had been dehumanized a person. But I bet, they don't know and they won't know before they wear white uniform and interact with lovely and very pure heart to take care of them. :)
And after all, the three of us had to spend the night in RSJ. May this experience lead you to be a great lecturer of Psychiatric Nursing someday as what you want.

*for the rebealition of the spirit, to be what I want, thank you Lord..* written

*for the chance to meet the most outstanding lady in the world. Thank you Lord. I love You Mom. I have already known, why my dear father chose you to be the mother of his child. You are my mom, you are my teacher, you are my best friend, you are my shelter, you are my sunshine, you're my spirit, you are my crown.

Thank you for saving me from mosquito, being my umbrella, covering me with blanket when I sleep, making breakfast and lunch to us, making dress and gown for the special moment of my sisters and me. :*

I remember my resolution for 2011, for trying to broaden my outlook, and being a borderless citizen. Happy to make new friend in KOMJak, glad to share life with them, glad to share life with my patients in hospital, dare to take responsibility in finishing role as facilitator.

And my hero for this year **** *******, thank U very much, thank U very much.

I have to thank for those who made me think that they hate you, ignore me, thank u for helping me to be more introspective.

I never thought I come to this way, I never thought I have chance to meet them, and like a sign taught by King of Salem to Santiago in The Alchemist, I thought I have to think that this year especially 3 months have been a sign for me, to encourage my self/ to close my ears to other's perspective/ to listen to my heart.

For the Chain You break when You come in this Great Christmas Lord, for showing us the brotherhood of all human, for the passion You have to be solider with us, so we dare to stare at Your Eyes, and Lift Up our hand to Your High.
Dear Lord, my liberator, I know to have great and gentle heart to make determination will always be reality in You. I surrender it for You. I won't be praying to get job now, cause I Know I'm not a little kid anymore, but I hope that my sisters can finish their study.

Dear Lord, I offer my life to You. I know very well my dream, but You know me better.

4 my dear Mom, menyambut Mother’s Day n Natal

2011-12-19T23:32:00.000-08:00

Saya baru menyadari anda bukanlah seorang Ibu yang biasa-biasa saja, setalah 6 tahun kita berpisah dengan hanya 10 hari perjumpaan di masa yang penuh duka akhir Januari dan awal Febrauri 2007 lalu, saat melihat dirimu bangun jam 5 pagi untuk menghidupkan rice cooker memasak nasi. Setelah itu mengambil tempat untuk berdoa pagi dengan tenang, selanjutnya mengirimkan sms selamat pagi kepada semua kerabat terutama ade sinta dan ade Lusi.
Saya mungkin juga baru sadar kalau anda adalah perempuan yang paling luar biasa, saat mengumpulkan semua pakaianku yang jahitannya lepas atau robek, meminta tolong kepada saya untuk memasukan benang pada jarum lalu menjahit. Dan ketika menjahit ada banyak cerita tentang kejadian selama 6 tahun kita terpisah yang anda ceritakan..:(( baru saja sadari saat anda merak\pikan pakaian, tempat tidur, buku-buku di kamarku bahwa mamaku rapi sekali, tidak seperti anaknya…hehehehe..
Dan saya juga adalah salah satu anak perempuan yang paling beruntung di dunia, yang diberikan kebebasan, yang sebenarnya adalah nama lain dari kepercayaan besar anda untuk berpetualang ke mana pun saya pergi dan saya mau.
Dear mama, semoga kita bisa bertemu lagi, mungkin Via akan meninggalkanmu lagi untuk waktu bertahun-tahun kemudian lagi untuk mengejar apa yang Via cari. Terima kasih untuk semua Izinmu.
Sejujurnya Via tahu, seperti katamu waktu itu sebagai jawaban dari pertanyaan orang-orang yang menanyakan keputusanmu melepas 3 putrinya ( semuanya berangkat kuliah)” untuk apa dikekang, karena mereka punya kehidupan sendiri”. Terima kasih.
Tapi percayalah, 18 tahun bersamamu, ( pas) *di hari Ulang tahunku ke 18 anda mengantarkan ku dan kita habiskan setengah hari di pesawat. Semua nilai yang anda tanamkan terlepas baik buruknya, membebaskan atau membelengguku, namun tetap hasilnya adalah yang terbaik. Saya tidak akan pernah melupakan pelajaran besar darimu untuk rendah hati.
Mohon maaf untuk 1 tahun ini, kata ini sulit terdefinisikan antara membiarkan diri terinjak-injak atau menunjukkan jati diri, antara takut dibilang sombong atau dibilang bodoh. Tetapi ya sudahlah itu tidak penting, yang paling penting seperti katamu memandang dan memperlakukan semua manusia sama dan sederajat.
Terima kasih juga member banyak pilihan bebas untuk semua hal termasuk pekerjaan dan jodoh.  mungkin di sana anda akan menentang struktur sendirian. Tapi percayalah,mereka menghormatimu bukan seperti mereka yang dihormati karena pangkat dan kedudukan, atau gelar bangsawan atau suku seperti yang biasa dilakukan orang di daerah kita. Putrimu yakin anda dihargai karena Nilai anda yang terlalu mulia. Tapi kembali lagi seperti kataNya, dihargai atau tidak itu tidak penting, yang paling penting melaksanakan kehendakNya, kehendakNya yang kau ketahui dan sadari dari hubunganmu denganNya.

Selamat Hari Ibu dan Selamat Natal mamaku tersayang. God Bless U…

random thoughts

2011-12-14T06:40:00.001-08:00

2 days ago, I was shocked for being told by a friend of mine that I’m an ambitious one. It leads me to think about my entire life and what’s value I believe in.
…………………………..
My entire life have been spending with doing what I do really like, full of happiness (may be pseudo happiness) and that’s why almost my close friend told me that I have to have any ambition.
I remember when I was in Senior High School, after celebrating my senior’s success for being the winner of Province OSN. A friend of mine asked me “ How about you Via?” Actually she asked me if I get some awards like my senior. And I just nodded and gave smile like I used to be.
But that question still lived in my memory and lighted up all the time in trying to remember my effort for getting something.
And after one year, I got the same position like my senior before, and like ussul, got warm greeting, cheers from my friends and teacher. and also made my father really proud. I could see from his eyes.

Yeah, I realized It was just my lucky for that time. I knew my self very well that I have no ambition, but I know very well what I really want to work on.
I like to be free, that’s why I’m not really suit in with custom or to be customized. I don’t want my self to be institutionalized. I don’t want my self to be bordered with any labels. I don’t want to work on the situation which put me in ordinate for others or being sub-ordinate.

My fellows, my friends, my brothers, I just want to see you as human, the creation of God, Lord of Universe. I really hate while in an interview, the user explained to me about the meaning of being professional, and for that reason, I have to give smile, treat patient as my client. I hate that for In the rough sentence it ‘s like You have to respect your clients because they spent money for their hospitalization. That's very rude reason. in the other word, I buy your work. so where is the value of nursing which I believe as a services and for some people call is " part of devotion"

I miss the time I had with U*eh, *mam, *ay, S*kron, and the others. I miss Bintang, a little creature of Lord who taught me to be strong ( hey he is just 12 months but he had to take cardiovascular surgery), I miss time with Oma in Fatmawati who asked my name. for all undefined reason, You’d been lifting up a life of a girl who was very stressful at that time

Now, the decision is in your hand honey, for these 3 months, for all great experience you’ve got, come Via, decide what you really want. Don’t care about what people will react to your decision. You are the owner of your dream.

In conclusion, forget about the exact meaning of ambition, cause I think all people have their own one, or may be many..hahahah..the most important point is you know what really want in life and what you want to pursue...^__^

Dear Lord of Universe, I bow down before you, bring all my mind and soul, take me the way I am Lord. Be though Your Vision oh Lord.
Special thank for the one who lead me think about this. God bless You forever. :)^__^

To be at sub-ordinate point

2011-12-13T02:47:00.001-08:00

What a lucky Friday. After a lof of stuff to do, finally I had chance to spend my lazy time at my favorite bookstore. Like usual, after entering the main gate, I turned to right side and went to Roman bookshelf, for the quite similar reason” Kahlil Gibran’s Master piece. Just for reaffirmed myself by reading” Jiwa-Jiwa Pemberontak” then I decided to see other’s book.
Just 4 step to the left, my eyes catch up an attractive title “ Perempuan di titik nol” I bet I ever heard about this book before. :””((
Reading page by page made me angry. I knew, I know, and I’ll always know very well why.
I remember my mother told me sad stories that made me very shock. The first one is my aquitance who’s murdered by her husband. Then my other relatives who’s buried by her boyfriend.
I remember the first day, when my family went back to our home land, the first question asked by my uncle is like” all of you are women, who’s gonna be the owner of the heritage. I remember my mother replied him with quite louder voice. They are my child, they are the owner.
I know for that time she answered just to show about the equality between man and women, not for the old freak and silly reason “heritage”
And like all memories is being recalled right now, to remember my aunt who passed away after gave a birth, and then my teacher in elementary school that also died for the same reason.
……..
Remember one day, I met an old friend of mine. We had been in very good nostaligia, before he told me his opinion about one case happened to my neighbor. A great women who’s just caught in case of infidelity with a very bad man I bet.
And what the people treated her was unbelievable…sigh sigh...
I’ll continue later….with more comprehensive proportion..:)

Count your blessing: a way for fixing of a broken heart

2011-12-09T02:25:00.001-08:00

I can believe that in some ways, He answers our prayer in the other form. For about 4 months, I really want to learn how to make logical frame. (Almost every session of my lecture in community health nursing, we learn about plan of action and implementation).
But what makes me happy currently, not because of acceptance to be a part of Nursing staff in one hospital (actually I also worry to lose my clinical practice), but beyond that I’m working on what I really love.
Spending time as project assistant is not an easy way, especially while all friends are being accepted, and left you’re alone in campus and accepted very boring question “ Where are you working now?”
To be honestly, I realize that I’m not pretty good in practical. I realized that I’m being force myself to do that, and I thought that I have to because to be a teacher like what I’ve been dreaming of, I have to fulfill myself first with experience.
And I’m happy for this week to have chance to meet young, smart, and open minded new friend from *a*da (very lucky to meet you). Lead me back to think deeply about my capacity and capability, think deeply about what actually I really want in life.
May be I’ve been rejected from the humanitarian assistant organization which I really want to work on, but it’s ok ( I have to heal myself) and look in myself deeply to find my treasure. So wake up girl cause you have to Thank God for
1. sending you a great role model for being committed for all of the responsibility you take ( Thank U bu Yuni)
2. being involved in a project that may be make the other’s being jealous to you..hahaha..we are the lucky no.1 meok
3. giving u chance to me a really good model for you Miss Nona
4. saving money ( hahahahahaha)
5. getting new perspectives by being get together with 1 professor, 3 doctor, and candidate of doctors
6. getting to know the crucial issues in nursing area in local and global perspective.
Hey..I’m so lucky, don’t be sad honey, see another chance..God speed

The prayer

2011-11-28T22:22:00.000-08:00

PULAU SAMADI

Di ufuk langit nan merah
kembara semadi
Di hadapan yang semayam
di alam suci
hari ini ....

Semoga Dia berkenan
menghadirkan diri
Menyambut setiap hati
yang tunduk semadi ...

Di tingkah segala bunyi
suara alami
Yang terindah, yang termurni
dipersembahkan
hari ini ....

..................

lagu mada bakti yang sangat ingin sekali dinyanyikan hari ini. semoga setiap pagi bisa menemukanMu dalam keheningan dan menjadi penuh sebagai bekal untuk dibagikan kepada yang lainnya untuk pulang kembali bertelut sujud menyembahMu sebagai persembahan hari ini...:) suka dan duka tiada berbeda saat bersamaMu..:)

4 My Outstanding Sister

2011-11-03T22:50:00.000-07:00

Pagi ini ade menelponku, ntah akar pahit apa yang ada di hatiku, sudah sangat tidak senang mendengarkan suaranya.
Adku sayang, teringat waktu kecil, dia yang paling ceria di antara kami bertiga, berlari ke sana kemari melindungi ade lusi, dan selalu menjaga ade lusi.
Ingat ketika itu dia memilih memberikan apa yang terbaik untuk Pia dan ade Lusi dan dia mendapat bagian yang sisa. Dalam hal apapun.
Hatinya murni sekali ketika itu.

Teringat ketika kecil dia begitu dipuji karena menjadi yang paling cantik, pintar lincah, dan terutama sejak kehadirannya, dia mengambil Bapa dariku. Tentu saja karena dia dan ade Lusi kembar, maka si bungsu jatuh ke pelukan mama, dan ade sinta jatuh ke pelukan bapa. Dan aku merasa tersisih.

Bukan salah siapa2. Akupun waktu itu masih dua tahun, dan aku pernah tidak membenci mereka waktu menggendong mereka berdua.

Kebencian yang dipupuk pertama ketika mataku dibutakan oleh orang-orang yang juga tidak mengerti bahwa yang mereka lakukan menanamkan rasa benci yang besar buatku kepada adeku yang hatinya sangat murni ini.

Mereka pun mungkin tidak tahu bahwa saat mereka menyanjungmu dan mengatakan kata-kata yang merendahkanku mereka telah dan sedang menciptakan jarak untuk kita berdua.

Aku ingat suatu hari, dengan matamu yang jernih dan sangat polos berdiri di depan pintu kelas dan memandang ke arahku dengan mata penuh pertanyaan, bertanya " tata piya beli kelendar, dan aku menjawab dengan membentak". Maaf mempermalukanmu ketika itu.
Dah teru saja peristiwa yang tidak bisa aku lupa ketika aku dengan tidak sopannya membuka pintu kamar ***** saat kau ******, dan saat itu juga kulihat matamu seolah sinatnya bertanya" kenapa tata pia tega melakukan itu padaku"

Ya Allah, kebenciaan seperti apa yang sudah ada di hatiku. Dia adikku sendiri.
Apa karena dia mengambil perhatian bapa dariku, atau dia mengambil semua yang terbaik dari orang tuaku.

Tuhanku, dengan kebesaran dan kemurahanMu, ampuni kebodohanku.

Dan hari itu, mama bercerita, ade sinta jatuh terjungkal dari 5 anak tangga, karena ingin menolong anak penjual ikan dari kejaran anjing, napasnya sampai sengal-sengal.
Ade...aku tahu hanya Ade Sinta yang mampu melakukan keberanian seperti itu. Menyelamatkan anak ayam yang hampir dimakan oleh babi, or kucing,melindungi anak-anak kucing saat ada razia hewan, membawa baso dan mengulum dalam mulut dan memberikannya kepada anak kucing.

Ade, kamu memang memilih jurusan yang benar, menyayangi makluk kecil yang lemah. Mereka makluk ciptaan Tuhan bukan. Teringat dirimu nangis saat dengan tidak sopannya teman kita menginjak anak bebek yang kau jaga sejak kecil
Teringat bagaimana kau membantu mama, memelihara anak kambing yang tidak mendapat ASI ibunya.

Aduh, adeku baik hati sekali. Teringat adikku waktu berdoa meminta keajaiban ketika ikut lomba biologi sampai rak buku terbakar oleh lilin dan dimarahi oleh mama. Seandainya saja kita lebih terbuka, mungkin ade bisa berdoa di ruang tamu, tanpa harus sembunyi-sembunyi.

Setiap kali melihat perempuan berambut panjang sepinggang, pasti selalu ingat adeku ini. Benar-benar cantik luar dalam.

Jangan pernah peduli akan apa yang dikatakan pada orang tentangmu. You are outstanding.

Semoga bisa mencapai cita-citamu menjadi dokter hewan. Tata pia sayang ade. :)

Dipersembahkan kepada Ade Sinta, semoga cinta Tuhan yang besar mendamaikan hati Tata Piya yang penuh rasa iri kepadamu..maaf ade sayang...

Dengan penuh kesadaran, tata pia mengaku, harga diri tata pia mungkin terusik, karena sampai 24 tahun ini belum bisa mandiri mengurus kalian. Maaf ade... Percayalah tata pia sedang berusaha.
Semoga kalian mengerti, bahwa tanggung jawab yang harus tata piya pikul amat sangat berat. Hampir 20 tahun lamanya, berlindung di bawah sayap Bapa dan bahagia, dan sekarang harus terbang sendiri itu tidak mudah
Dan yang paling susah adalah sewaktu harus melangkah sendiri ketika Bapa pergi. Sejujurnya hampir 6 bulan tata pia tidak bisa tidur sedikitpun dan berpindah-pindah dari kamar orang dan hidup seperti dihantui rasa takut.

Itu pula mungkin yang dirasakan oleh A*d*, pasien tata piya dulu di RS Jiwa dulu. Dia kehilangan mamanya dan sampai depresi berat. Seandainya tata piya tidak punya teman sebaik Zani, tata pun mungkin mengalami hal yang sama. * 4 mami Zani semoga berbahagia dengan Papi Leo: U deserve happiness" Love U best friend" Ada sesuatu dalam diri yang hilang yang sulit dijelaskan. Untuk hal yang satu ini, seribu sanjungan dipersembahkan kepada perempuan luar biasa: mama yang hanya dengan satu kalimat bisa menyadarkan tata piya: "NONA biarpun perempuan harus kuat seperti LAKI_LAKI. Dengan perkataan yang sebenarnya BIAS GENDER tapi memang ya, menangisi nasib tidak ada gunannya sama sekali.

Ade Lusi, dia mungkin pemikirannya tidak serumit kita berdua. Dia sangat simple. Dia polos, tanpa ambisi sedikitpun.
Hey dua ade kembarku. :**...semoga cita-cita kalian tercapai.. GB
Ya Tuhanku, untuk KemurahanMu Kau telah membawaku sampai ke titik ini. Semoga ade SInta dan Ade Lusi pun bisa meraih cita-cita mereka dan bahagia selalu.

Saat kami jatuh, ajar kami untuk bangun dan selalu melihat rahmatMu Tuhan.
Tuhan tolong kami, tolong adik-adikku..:)

@my beloved new room...Kamis, 3 November 2011

dipersembahkan kepada adeku tersayang Sinta Manuama, "tata piya Tulis malam tadi, dan siang ini kita ngobrol di telpon, cepat sekali jawaban dariNya..Love U muah".:)

@ the point of no return

2011-10-19T21:32:00.001-07:00

Pernahkah anda berada pada titik di mana anda merasa sudah melangkah jauh dan tidak akan pernah bisa lagi menoleh ke belakang. Dan harus berkata life must go on. Berada pada momen yang dikutuki tapi juga menyentuh hati sanubari manusia yang paling dalam. Saya hampir 10 bulan yang lalu, ketika di depan saya dan pembimbing saya, seorang lelaki muda, ibunya dan kakaknya menangis dan mengucapkan banyak terima kasih.

Teringat kepolosan seorang U*e*, saat menceritakan semua yang dialaminya yang memang sesungguhnya tidak mudah. Di situlah saya merasa bahwa memang benar adanya integritas diri seseorang sebagai pribadi yang mulia , jiwa seseorang perlu disentuh. Dan kata-kata yang dikeluarkan dari mulut memang benar bisa menjadi kutukan ataupun berkat.

Lalu apa yang bisa dibagi oleh perempuan berusia 23 thn ketika itu, yang masa kecilnya sendiri penuh penolakan dan sangat sulit untuk mempercayai seseorang sebagai pribadi. Terima kasih banyak kepada anda sekalian para pembimbing klinik yang telah membawa saya melepaskan hampir semua ambisi untuk bergerak dengan hati yang setulus mungkin
Memang benar adanya, rasanya mengangkat piala dengan tersenyum lebar, diiringi oleh standing ovation dari semua orang dengan momen mendapatkan terima kasih dengan air mata bercucuran dari seseorang.

Saat-saat tersebut juga, untuk kesekian kalinya saya bahagia melakukan pekerjaan semata-mata karena ingin, bukan karena yang lain. Saat yang sama juga saya merasa menjadi manusia.
Menilik ke dalam diri melihat kebesaran Tuhan, sejujurnya saya sangat tidak percaya bisa melakukan itu kalau bukan karena kekuatan dari Dia sang Pemilik kehidupan. Belum pernah saya merindukan Dikau sebegitu rupa dalam hidup dan mendoakan dengan sungguh-sungguh bahkan saat yang paling sederhana memasukkan jarum infuse. Dan saat yang sama juga saudaraku yang lain mengucapkan "Bismillah".

Belum pernah juga seumur hidup, saya melihat teman-teman berdoa dengan sungguh-sungguh, bukan saja bagi diri sendiri, tapi bagi orang lain yang bahkan baru dikenali.

Jadi ingat dengan sumpah yang diucapkan ketika itu, dengan meletakan tangan kiri di atas alkitab dan tiga jari kanan diangkat "akan mengabdikan hidup untuk kemanusiaan". Hanya butuh 3 detik untuk melafalkannya. Ya Allah, semoga tidak salah. Jujur saya ingin melarikan diri rasanya, tapi kemana pun saya lari, selalu ada patok entah apapun itu yang membatasi saya melangkah.

Kepada Sarzani Nainggolan, Leosius Ginting, Sanny Friska, kenapa kepalaku mesti memusingkan hal yang tidak perlu aku pusingkan.

Bersemangatlah mengejar mimpi kalian. Sungguh sangat bersyukur pelayanan ini mengantarkan kalian begitu dekat denganNya dan di saat yang sama, melihat jauh ke dalam diri sesame menemukan Kemanusiaan.
Untuk hari ini sukses buat Meok Kiara yang akan wawancara. All the best dear…

@ the point of no return

2011-10-19T21:32:00.000-07:00

jatuh dari sepeda untuk pertama kalinya

2011-10-19T01:05:00.000-07:00

hari ini untuk pertama kalinya menggunakan speda UI. dan untuk pertama kalinya pula terjungkal dari sepeda,terjerembab, makan rumput dan tanah, hidup gw nabrak tanah... epiktasis ( pendarahan hidung) dah. huaaaaaaaaaa,.:"""""""""""(((((((..hidung gw bengkak, tangan kanan gw bengkak juga..siku lecet...:((((

tapi ayo semangat mengerjakan tugas...:((..masih beruntung tetap hidup

2011-10-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

"Dialah belahan jiwamu, yang snantiasa mempersiapkan perjalanan panjang dalam mengarungi perjalanan panjang dalam drama kehidupan, dialah belahan jiwamu, penguat akar cintamu kepadaNya, dia adalah perpanjangan tanganNya, yang senantiasa menenangkan cemas, memelihara dan merawatmu sebagai sepasang manusia untuk memikul amanah perjuangan bersama"

Terima kasih kepada Azmy Basyarahil, saudaraku yang dengan sangat baik menggambarkan "orang yang dicarinya" Menggambarkan isi kepalaku juga...:)

Last night,my mom told me about what my father's want from me before his "farewell to eternity" . and to be honest, I was shock to hear that, and laughing at the same time.... hahahahahahahahhaahaha...

coz, sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing before you but you can't see it...
and when you've just realized it, you will find your self in a very scream situation, and you will try to stay away, but you can't help it.
Dang it!!!!!!!!
How come, the wall have been trembled down. without any fight.

finally, thanks for the affirmation of last night contemplation, surely I will follow my desire...

dear Lord, May I, get chance to help my sisters finish their study...:"""((

Blank

2011-10-10T23:09:00.000-07:00

Really, I'm tired with all things happened. So many things happened in these several days. So many things to do. but I'm not focus on anything. And I'm really sad with a very bad dream last night. What a very big trouble when You realize that you are at the point of no return but at the same time you have no point of view about anything. And You don't have something to pursue. Really I'm blank.

I enjoy my new project in helping my teacher, and I do really love that. But at the same time, I'm thinking about others. Dang it. Please honey. Focus on your work.

Ok, so now, let make a list, "to do list" would be very help full.

Hey U...

2011-10-03T03:14:00.000-07:00

It's 3 Oct., and still I have no plan, where to go after graduation. And the most stressing moment is always when people ask you, where will you go? where will you work? Have u been employed? I hate those kind of questions.. Really...
for the one who has clear plan, it's easy to answer.

I saw my friends with their big passion, apply for several nurse position, and some of them have been approved.
and..I 'am still confused, where am I going to..I don't know..:***(((((((...really have no enthusiasm.

easy to say what I want...N*O, L*ct*r*r, S*, but for following my heart... I have to break all obstacles in front of me. but for the dreams that have been printing from the history. I guess, I know my self better.

Ok ..honey..no one needs to know...

So sorry friends, If I just answer your questions... don't believe what I'm saying when you ask me those questions above. I have a secret answer in my mind...time will be the answer..:)

thank U mom, for your understanding..Love U..:)

I'm now

2011-09-21T05:14:00.001-07:00

I'm now…

Sangat kuatir dengan apa yang terjadi nanti
Sangat ingin tahu dengan apa yang akan terjadi nanti
Sangat ingin memperbaiki diri

Tertampar dengan sebuah ucapan bahwa kita harus lebih kuat jika tidak ingin dipermainkan oleh kehidupan
Tertantang untuk bisa mengubah diri menjadi lebih disiplin

Mengingat, pernah di suatu masa 9 tahun yang lalu Via begitu rajin dan tidak pernah mengenal kata terlambat
Mengingat pernah di suatu masa 9 dan 6 tahun yang lalu Via begitu tekun memperjuangkan apa yang Via inginkan

Bersyukur di suatu masa 6 tahun yang lalu mendapat dukungan dari guru yang luar biasa yang memberikan apa yang disebut "kepercayaan"
Bersyukur mendapat kesempatan mendengarkan kata-kata bijak dari mereka yang menyayangiku

Merindukan dia tempat bercerita segala hal tentang kehidupan
Merindukan dia teman berbagi cerita tentang kejayaan
Merindukan dia yang duduk di kursi di bawah pohon
Dan dihadapannya lebih dari 10 tahun, gadis kecil mendengarkan cerita dan apapun yang keluar dari mulutnya, membawanya ke dalam setiap mimpi-mimpinya

Menyayangi nya, perempuan yang sambil mencari kutu
Bercerita tentang kisah Adam Hawa, Kain dan Habel, Bahtera Nuh, Paulus
Perempuan yang berani berbicara dan duduk dalam lingkaran dengan kaum pria
Perempuan yang kata hampir semua orang adalah menantu tercantik yang pernah dimiliki
Perempuan pecinta lingkungan yang menumbuhkan lebih dari 100 pepohonan di halaman rumah yang luas dan sejuk
Perempuan yang menjahitkan baju untuk kami di hari komuni pertama
Perempuan yang amat detail memperhatikan kebutuhan kami..
Maaf hingga usia 24 tahun ini, belum bisa membuatmu bahagia

Berharap,
Semoga para pencari menemukan apa yang dicarinya

Allah..sang pemberi kehidupan..
Ini anakMu yang merindukan
Kemerdakaan sejati dari rasa kuatir, rasa takut mengecawakan orang tua,
Kemerdakaan untuk bisa terbang tinggi, berjalan, menurun, dan menyatu dengan semesta
Kemerdakaan untuk bisa mengatakan apa yang aku pikirkan

Karena sejatinya Aku milikMu

Kepada Sang Pemilik Kehidupan

2011-09-12T14:40:00.000-07:00

Malam ini, putriMu duduk di hadapan laptopnya, dengan banyak sekali persoalan yang tersimpan di kepalanya. Ntah apa itu, tapi dia bingung. Mau kemana dan apa yang harus dilakukan. Bahkan ketika menghabiskan waktunya depan layer computer. Dia tidak tahu apa yang harus ditulis. Seperti hidup tanpa tujuan.

Berkali dan berulang kali, saat merenungkan 6 tahun terakhir ini, masa yang diawali dengan sebuah kesalahan atas kepatuhan terhadap keinginan dia yang tidak bisa ditolak permintaannya.

Bertahun-tahun berusaha meninggalkan apa yang sedang dijalani, namun tidak ada kata penolakan yang terucap selain berpaling saat ada yang meminta tolong.

Bagaimana harus menanamkan penerimaan diri, berkata meyakinkan diri sendiri kalau jalan yang dipilih saat ini adalah benar adanya jika setiap saat ada dua hal yang muncul pada saat bersamaan dalam hati. Ketakutan dan keyakinan yang muncul disaat bersamaan. Pengingkaran diri dan kemanusiaan yang muncul di waktu yang sama.

Ya Allah, bagaimana ini? melihat Zani, Leo, Mae yang menghayati apa yang dikerjakan sepenuh hati. Melihat Noni yang dengan semangat 45 mau menjadi orang kantoran, melihat Maher, Liya yang semangat ingin menjadi dosen. Tere yang bersemangat 45 dalam pelayanan. Dan aku, terjebak dalam sebuah dunia yang membuat aku merasa terasing sekali.

Ya Allah, seandainya saja waktu dapat diputar kembali. Aku terlalu telat menyadari passionku. Sangat terlambat. :**(((

Really I wanna cry and I'm crying.. so sad. Why do I have to feel it. why do I have to be happy when finish my clinical practice. What's happening with me?

Ya Allah, berulang kali aq mendapat penguatan, tapi aku sadar, pengingkaran ini akan datang selalu dan selalu. Dan aku tidak buruk kan jika keluar dari dunia yang sudah membantuku menyadari kehadiranMu?

Ingin lari sekencang-kencangnya dan berteriak..argggggggghhhhhhhhhhh…
Aku tidak peduli dengan pulang kampong atau apa. aku juga tidak peduli dengan di mana aku setelah ini. Kenapa aku juga tidak tahu?

I'm standing with a lot of Hope, then take a bow before You dear Lord. I'm nothing at all.

 Dear Lord, untuk meminta lagi aku merasa sudah tidak layak. Aku malu sekali kepadaMu. Dan kepada Ayahanda Bapa yang mungkin akan sedih juga jika membaca tulisan ini. Mohon maaf dari hati yang terdalam. Putri kalian bingung dengan jalan hidupnya. Mohon maaf.

Gibran, P. Coelho, de Mello...:)

2011-09-06T02:58:00.000-07:00

Saat masih di bangku SMP kelas 3, ada salah satu buku hadiah dari teman saya. berjudul sang Penyair dengan pengarang Kahlil Gibran. sejujurnya saat membaca buku itu saat itu saya tidak mengerti sama sekali apa maksudnya, namun karena memang dasarnya sejak kecil saya sudah membaca apa saja, kecuali hal-hal yang berbau bisnis, maka buku itu tetap saja baca.

Pada saat yang bersamaan juga, kami sekelas sedang menggila dengan lagu-lagu band PADI dan DEWA 19 ketika itu. dan baru tahu ketika itu kalau kebanyakan judul lagu DEWA 19 sama dengan karya-karya Gibran(* sayap-sayap patah, roman picisan).

ada satu kisah yang sangat saya suka dari buku itu yang berjudul Prahara yang saat itu saya tangkap ada kisah seorang yang mengasingkan diri dari masyarakat dan hidup di hutan untuk mencari hakikat kehidupan.(* sumpah saya ingin mencari lagi)

2 tahun kemudian, saya ke Gramedia di pusat kota Propinsi dan mendapati begitu banyak Karya Gibran. saya membeli 1 yang berjudul sang Nabi dan isinya lagi-lagi saya baca, meskipun tidak sepenuhnya saya mengerti....hahahaha
kalau tidak salah si nabi bernama AL Mustafa yang pulang bepergian jauh dan begitu orang banyak tahu dia datang, mereka mengerumuni dia dan meminta dia bercerita tentang banyak hal ttg kehidupan..salah satu kata-kata yang paling saya ingat "Pakaian banyak menyembunyikan keindahan tapi tidak mampu menutupi keburukan" dan ada lagi "anak-anakmu adalah anak panah, engkau adalah busurnya, kearah mana anak panah melesat...bla bla bla saya lupa.. dan satu lagi " bisa memenjarakan tubuh mereka tapi tidak jiwanya.. Ada lagi kisan tentang setan dan pendeta, kelahiran seorang Pangeran yang begitu dipuja-puji oleh rakyat padahal sesungguhnya adalah kelahiran Tirani baru . Saya sangat suka kata-katanya dan cerita-ceritanya dan bagaimana dia menggambarkan setiap situasi dalam cerita tersebut, namun sejujurnya pengertian saya sangat terbatas ketika itu

Saat kuliah, tidak ada lagi kesempatan untuk membaca buku-buku Gibran…bahkan saya lupa saya pernah sangat menyukai Penyair yang satu ini.

* semester 8: Anthony De Mello

Salah satu judul buku Anthony de Mello yang adalah warisan kaka kosan yang ditinggalkan karena menambah berat bagasi jika pulang kampong (**********) membuka pemikiranku. Sejujurnya buku itu sudah pernah say abaca di tahun 2009 dan lagi-lagi tidak saya mengerti sama sekali. Hahahahahah…

Baru ketika tahun 2010 saya bisa mengerti maksudnya. Belajar melepaskan kelekatan-kelakatan termasuk label yang sudah ada di dalamnya, baik itu penilaian positif dan negative setelah itu menjadi manusia yang diperuntukan untuk semua orang. ( mungkin juga saya salah memaknainya

* Paulo Coelho
Berikutnya adalah Kisah D' Alkemis yang saya dengar pertama kali di tahun 2007. tentang buku karya Paulo Coelho ini sewaktu mengikuti Kaderisasi KMK. Secepat kilat langsung mencari buku itu dan sayangnya baru sempat dibaca pada tahun 2009.
Dan wow..begitu banyak kata bagusnya. Speechless saya, terutama "setiap orang memiliki harta terpendamnya sendiri yang menanti untuk ditemukan".

Tulisan ini akan dilanjutkan namun untuk hari ini saya hanya ingin berterima kasih kepada Sang Pencipta dan Pengendali Semesta, dan seisi alam untuk konspirasi besarnya menyelamatkan mama, ade Sinta, ade Lussy, dan saya.
Terima Kasih………^_^

@Noni's room
5 September 2011

Come on and out of The Rain...

2011-08-28T08:35:00.001-07:00

It looks like all doors are closed to you when your application is rejected by one job you've been dreaming. . I was So sad at that time ( and may be still sad right now ) , and doing something out of control. That was to contact a friend and cry like a kid who lost her beloved toys. But may be, it's really a human sign, You need a shoulder to cry on while being very sad. Thank U so much for your crazy funny jokes.

I write it to remember that for one time one moment of my life I ever been rejected by NGO that I really want to work within.
I write it to remember that at the same time, I have friend who stand by me and try to bounce me back. Thank U very much. Thank U kaka N*b*t*
I owe so much to you.( take a deep breath)

I write it as a hope that Lord have His other plan for me.

and for two friends who know my dream HC n P*L*, thank u for the spirit. It's not easy to pass it through but sure I can. 4 HC good luck for your plan. I bet, comdev is really your part..:P. and P* L*: good luck for your dream, let youth understand Indonesian Arts. Thank U very much.

20 August looks like a very bad day for me, to release 3 chances, to reaffirm my self. Wish acceptance phase come soon in my "lebay grieving time" wkwwkkwk

Hey..thank U 4 22 August. What a blessing day. Smile smile smile. No one can ease the smile on your face without your consent. Hahahahhaha….

Moreover, I have no idea, what next plan. Hahahahahaha…
But Lord, I'll be waiting for my 2 blessing dreams, to come true.

Back sound ( Come on and Out of the rain by Regine V.)

--4 My Mom :)

2011-08-28T07:18:00.000-07:00

Mama….

When I was a kid, I was a very naughty child ( most of family say that, to too bad to confess It's 90 % true)

I remember, almost all of my days, I argued with my mom, about many things, and most of the cause of the disputes is feeling to be treated injustice. :D

Remember, one day I argued with my mom for yelling to my sisters, then my mom asked me to be calm, but I confront her coz I thought that I was in the right position. As the consequence, We were in "cold war" for about 2 weeks. She didn't talk to me and so did I. But I know she just gave me time out for several times ( but 2 weeks is too long in my opinion,) Even she didn't want to talk to me, but she still asked my sisters to call me at lunch time...:P.

And the end of that story was I try to talk to her first and ask for apologize. You have to know that actually the reason I have to put off my crazy pseudo pride was I have no money anymore at that time. :D
and with her way (always Mama's rules, she said " oh, I don't think that You need me anymore, so you can live your life by your self). I came to my father for asking help as usual, and of course, the dispute would be over. hhahaha..not too easy to grab her heart back. ^__*

I miss my mom with her strong idealism. I miss to watch her busy times with her social activities. I miss to be proud while watching her speaking in front of many people confidently without any doubts. And I guess, may be her lovely "headstrong" lead my father to fall in love with her…wkwkwkwkwkwkwk…….

One Year Contemplation

2011-07-20T03:05:00.000-07:00

After all.. finally my 1 year journey finished at RSUD C*bi*o*ng. what a happy day.
For the togetherness in one awesome year, I thank God.
For the chance to be at the lowest point of my one year and blessed at the same time, thank U..:)

remember the first time giving intramuscular injection, the chance that I had been praying for 1 week, and finally I got it when at the last day of my clinical practice at R*MM, my senior asked me If I want to give IM for a new patient. Surely, I bet I was very afraid, but my adrenalin had eased my fear, and as usual I felt nothing fears. Thank U Mas Yoga. I have to say that by finishing that task I had eased my fear to face other pseudo fears ( a feeling like I hurt others).

to be underestimated when the first time came to R*CM in Maternal Health stage. I knew I was very novice at that time, without any clinical experience. Remember when our clinical instructor identified our competences, and her regret when the answer she got is like we couldn't do nothing.
So finally she said that You are in 0. :***((. But By working in What people call as endurance and giving us Your spirit guys, we could pass it through, and feel happy at the end.

Remember when conducting health education about breastfeeding, family planning, and etc. Thanks to "the blessing mothers at ****** R*C* during January and February". To be honestly, by saying Thank U..U had been living up a life of 5 girls who felt very stressful at that moment.

to feel very inferior while walking on the corridor of hospital wear white uniform and every one there put a big hope on my shoulder. In another hand, I was a novice. Really want to yell at those moments. I didn't know where should I put my self on, like there's no space for me. Everything clinically had been undertaking by them. To be closed to them, I was afraid, I could be fit in with their level. I felt inferior and unsafe while that stage. But thank U for nice quote of T. Roosevelt, No one can make u feel inferior without your consent.  I couldn't find any reasons to get out there, coz there's always a reason to make me stay there while somebody ask for help. Thank U.

remember I was in a very bad mood, walking to work, when an old friend who had been out of contact ( for a fool reason made by me, I was too shy to contact him again) called me. What a happy redemption? Papi Beaver, U are always the Best. Good luck for your business.

remember when I felt lost in the middle of one night, couldn't enter the dorm for a fool reason, had no money to purchase. I was very afraid at that moment, before You sent a hand to help me getting out from that foolish. Thank U kaka pertama.

hey, so many things happened during this one year. And I can't believe, I've been met great people. A lot of CIs and my seniors at R*CM, R*F, RS*D T*ra*an, C*bin*ng, Pers*h*b*tan. ….( to be continued..)

ESCAPE FROM ORDINARY LIFE

2011-05-16T16:58:00.000-07:00

Setiap orang mungkin pernah mengalami masa-masa di mana dirinya menjadi amat sangat down, menjadi orang asing bagi dirinya sendri, dan tidak tahu apa yang harus dilakukan. Sehingga pada akhirya menghabiskan waktu untuk melakukan hal yang tidak berguna sama sekali ( baca Facebookan hampir 5 jam-an).

Namun terima kasih untuk moment tertawa saat berjumpa dengan sesame, bercerita dengan mereka, dan mendengarkan.
Terima kasih untuk kebersamaan bersama para sahabat senasib dan sepenanggungan, yang sama-sama melewati sungai yang begitu lebar dan dalam ( baca profesi) demi satu tujuan yang sesungguhnya tidak lebih dari melaksanakan rencanaNya.
Terima kasih untuk pembimbing klinik yang memahami setiap jeritan hati karena pernah berada pada titik serupa.
Terima kasih untuk kesempatan menyelesaikan salib lain sebagai proses pembentukan lainnya yang harus dijalani di sisi lain dari kehidupanku dan pada saat yang sama memberikan kemenangan bagi orang yang pernah melalaikan salibMu.
Terima kasih untuk kebaikan hati sahabat yang sudah menunjukkan kebaikan hatiMu
Yang kasihnya tulus untuk setiap orang. ( dear Lord..:( )

Jiwa pemberontakan yang sudah ada sejak dahulu
Ketakutan yang sesungguhnya hanyalah kekuatiran
Akar pahit akan kegagalan menanggung amanah dahulu
Apalagi yang tersisa, semuanya menjadi satu dibawa dalam suatu masa penuh kemarahan yang teralih dalam bentuk ketidakjelasan
Bahkan aku sendiri tidak mengenal diri dan kemampuanku
Bahkan aku sendiri tidak pernah percaya akan kemampuanku

Pada akhirnya, satu sama lain hanya bisa saling memandang dengan diam
Entah apa yang ada di pikiran mereka,
Aku sendiri pun tidak tahu, apa yang kupikirkan
Saat pertama kali memakaikan pakaian untuk seorang bapak yang sudah terbujur kaki,
Di bawah tatapan banyak orang ketika itu ( baca ruang ….lantai 4)

Hanya ingin mengucapkan terima kasih kepada mereka,
Yang 4 tahunan lalu telah mengurus Bapaku dengan baik.

Pada akhirnya, terima kasih kepada para guru 3 bulan ini, semua orang yang dijumpai di setiap lorong dan kamar lantai 4,5,6,…R*F

Dear Lord, for Your Love I've been taken to the land, where I become a stranger, trapped into the time lead me to be a foreigner.

3 months at Mother and Child health Department.

2011-03-05T19:29:00.000-08:00

Finally, I can breathe easy, after finishing my final test yesterday. Yupz..it's such a good thing to enjoy the moment of freedom from tasks (even there were 3 tasks waiting for me for next week and one supervision more)

And now, I've just come back from Happy time with my beloved friends in Komjak. And as usual always reminds me of my biggest aspiration, passion to improve women health.

Now, it's time to reflect all things happened in these 3 months.
So sad to miss chance to meet new friends in ISFiT, but it's ok, may the other similar chance will turn back to me. So many opportunity outside.
So sad to be forgetful for the details but it's better than nothing refection at all.

So let comes from the first time came to RSCM,
I rememeer on that day, I was really stressful for facing, B M, the head nurse there. Imagine that someone insult you by acting like you are nothing and saying You are an ugly novice there, so you must be have a very low capability for giving health service. To be honest, I wanted to yell her and told her, that my friends and I have been spending for about 4 years for studying. What we need at that time was just her kindness to supervise us. But again and again, to have no experience is such to make you submissive and be silent to accept what other says about you. Dang it!!!

So glad to meet many people in these three months. Feel enough after teaching new mothers about breastfeeding, how to care their baby, contraception, family planning.
So glad to get their trust, when what you asked them to do was implemented by them.
So honor to get chance to sit beside them and listen to their life story.

There some stories had been the most memorable month. And those I want to share with you today.

Remember, I was in the 217 room, when a friend of mine called me to go to emergency room. As a novice, we just have target to help on three labor.
I never thought that that night I would watch a very dramatic labor, when a young woman, whom actually didn't get married yet fighting for her life. Her baby had died in her uterus because of infection. She should deliver her dying baby. And for me, it was the first time I saw labor. I feel like rubbish, when we just watched this emergency case, without have idea, how to help. I watched bleeding, and had no idea how to stop. I watch the fragile woman in front of me, and what I did was just praying.

I don't know the last story about that woman, but what I want to say is " how inevitable a women to be victim, because of her status as woman" to be honestly I asked Lord until right now, why women should be suffer from " labor by her self" and where is the un responsibility man?"

On the other case, I met a women, who had been deliver baby for about 10 times.
That day, when I observed her, prepared to help her labor, I was shock that she had pre eclampsia, for 210/120 mmHg for her blood pressure. But she delivered her small gestation age baby without too much effort, just cough for one time and her baby was delivered.

So glad to get her trust when she told her problem. I couldn't share it, but I know, finally I have to come to the conclusion that the only way to improve women health, is not just provide the high quality of health care provider, technology, regulations. There's something in our society which should be break: acceptance culture. So again an quote, from Roosevelt is might be true. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I'll put this case in my heart, cause I know, I'm also as a child which is growing up in a patriarchate culture, I have an unconscious acceptance for being what the society wants me to act, and finally, unconsciously, I have been losing my authority of my self. Too much intervention, too much formation, and others. An to be honest, I have to honor my self for awareness about that situation. And now, even it's hard to break I have to.

So afraid, while contact with an HIV suspect and feel so glad after I could pass through my afraid. Feel enough, feel satisfied, after know that, I had just break the wall and distance of my afraid. ( I wish I can explain… ) Thank U Lord.

Hey, almost forget, on contrary, I was happy to see many happy mother, which have a very kind husband who accompanied her wife during pregnancy and labor. Great man!
^_^. During watching those moment, My mind move around, remember of my great father, who is very responsible. Thanks Bapa. You have been a great father for me.

One month in Maternal Health department have collected my passion in very extreme efforts for doing something better. Not just vocational art, but think deeply about other problem beneath the surface.
And when I moved to child health department, what I could do is just silent, give a bare smile. Not because of I didn't enjoy profession, but like a rebel, my heart is too much enough with an big angry and full of a very smooth feeling at the same time. When all things are getting wrong. Reading book without concentration, but I have to confess that I am more calm and mature than before.

For my dear great brother, Ilham, Michael, Haris, Safa, and my lovely Bintang, thanks for teaching me one great thing how to survive. ALWAYS HAVE HOPE. For mama Bintang, mama Haris,..thanks for teaching me to keep working on fire. And finally I have to agree that HOPE is the greatest power.

For the HOPE of equality for all human being, women and men, white n color. And for Jesus, my Lord, who had break the chain of slavery for the brotherhood of all human. HOPEfully, I can give all my best for all people whom I meet..everyday every time

March 5, 2011

@Belovedroom

dear Lord, 20 February 2011

2011-02-19T09:03:00.000-08:00

Terlampau malas untuk hari ini, sepertinya memang Via perlu kontemplasi terlebih dahulu. Untuk apa yang telah dijalankan selama 1 bulan terakhir ini.
So..

Masih ingat 3 bulan yang lalu di tengah kebimbangan profesi dapat email yang menjadi jawaban impian..congrat..You're invited..seperti sebuah mimpi rasanya. Bahagianya karena isunya adalah kesehatan perempuan dan anak. Makin semangat!!! Namun teringat lagi dengan apa yang harus Via tuntaskan setahun ke depan. Satu kata yang membuat semuanya bisa luluh lantah..Profesi..

Hey..secara jujur dapat Via katakan keputusan untuk tidak pergi ke sana berbeda denganbiasanya karena tidak pernah Via sesali. Sekalipun Via tahu bahwa jika Via berangkat, terbukalah sebuah jalan, namun tentu saja ada satu yang mungkin hilang..yaitu kesempatan perjumpaan dengan realita.
Masih ingat hari-hari di R**M, minggu pertama penuh kebingungan. Namun bahgia tidak terkira saat bisa membagi ilmu dengan ibu-ibu yang rata-2 masih muda. Satu pelajaran yang didapatkan bahwa mereka ibu rumah tangga yang bisa dipastikan sepanajang waktu berada di samping anaknya, jika mereka mendidik putra-putrinya dengan sebaik2nya setidak2nya dalam setiap suapan nasi atau kata-kata nasihat penuh makna..what's next? Hanya TUhan yang tahu, namun setidak2nya itulah perubahan yang dapat dibuat kea rah yang lebih baik.

Masih ingat juga, suatu hari di RSUD T*r*k**, membantu seorang ibu muda (***maap) tidak bisa diceritakan, keesokan harinya terungkaplah semua persoalan yang dihadapinya, mulai dari masalah kehidupan malam sampai dengan kekerasan rumah tangga, hingga apa yang disebut orang penolakan dan marginalisasi.

Ya Allahku, ada ketakutan besar dalam diri Via, takut gagal melewati profesi ini, takut terkena ini dan itu, ya Allah, Engkau bahkan lebih mengetahui ketakutan apa sesungguhnya Via alami. Demi keinginan melintasi batas itulah Via melangkah. Via tahu tidak layak lagi Via untuk meminta, tapi kepada siapa lagi kalau bukan padaMu sang pemilik hidup. Lindungilah PutriMu ini.

HIV, ODHA, sejujurnya Via sangat ketakutan ya Tuhan, namun terima kasih untuk keberanian berjumpa dengan mereka dan melakukan sesuatu untuk mereka. Amat sangat tidak pantas ya Allah, Via menulis ini, namun Via memohon kepadaMu, lindungilah setiap orang yang mengambil bagian dalam pelayanan ini. Via tidak tahu harus mengatakan apa, namun Via semakin sadar bahwa ada suatu rasa yang bukan iba, bukan juga tidak tega, tapi mungkin keinginan untuk melihat yang muncul dalam diri Via…

KepadaMu sang pemilik kehidupan, ambillah semuanya yang sesungguhnya milikMu…

20/02/2011

@beloved room

To be a borderless citizen : Resolusi 2011

2011-01-01T18:34:00.000-08:00

To be a borderless citizen : Resolusi 2011

Seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya, misa malam natal adalah salah satu moment yang paling saya rindukan selama satu tahun, disamping moment lain yaitu malam paskah. Alasannya sederhana, lagu-lagunya dan suasananya..hahaha..untuk malam natal, tentus saja koor yang meriah yang sudah tidak diragukan lagi seperti mencuci pikiran dari kebisingan harian. Dan untuk malam paskah, selalu ada lagu"pembaharuan janji babtis" yang ingin selalu saya nyanyikan.

Malam natal 2010 kali ini seperti biasa, koornya meriah, bahkan ada iringan musik tradional sebagai bentuk inkulturasi budaya, suatu format yang mantap dan luar biasa, karena biar bagaimanapun juga, kearifan dan nilai local harus tetap dijaga, dan benar kata Romo, mendengar lagu Holy night diiringi oleh musik angklung serasa " JC" lahir di tanah Sunda. Hahahhahaha 

Namun ada bagian yang menembus alam pemikiranku, baik ke dua lagu Holy night chain shall He break for the slave is our brother and in His name all oppression shall cease.
Bukan bermaksud apa-apa terus terang yang menjadi perenungan saya selama ini adalah mempertanyakan pengotak-ngotakan umat manusia dalam bingkai agama.
Saya sadar sepenuhnya, saya orang yang terllau rasional sehingga tidak membawa identitas yang selama ini saya bawa dalam situasi tertentu, sehingga terkadang, cenderung kelihatan seperti mencari posisi aman karena berada di tengah-tengah.

Tetapi sejujurnya teman-temanku, bahwa berada diposisi tengah juga adalah sebuah pilihan. Yang mengandung konsekuensi dimusuhi oleh orang dari 2 sisi karena dianggap tidak konsisten. Saya berusaha melihat sesuatu dari sudut pandang se obyektif mungkin. Saya hanya berusaha melangkah dari kungkungan idnetitas " saya katolik, saya anak Maumere, saya mahasiswa keperawatan, yang selama ini dilabelkan kepada saya, sehingga seolah jika saya keluar dari situ saya akan menjadi salah dan aneh.

Pada akhirnya saya sampai kepada kesimpulan saya yang mungkin juga keliru bahwa agama apapun di dunia ini hanya menyediakan rumusan-rumusan tentang ALlah, jika kita menerimanya mentah-mentah tanpa melihat atau mencari sendiri atau mengalami sendiri dan membingkainya dalam bentuk ini boleh ini tidak boleh, ini jahat ini baik, maka sama seperti menelan apel yang sudah dikunyak terlebih dahulu oleh orang tua dan guru kita, yang sudah penuh dnegan tambahan saliva mereka, tanpa berusaha mengunyah sendiri. Allah menjadi sesuatu yang disaring terlebih dahulu, oleh mereka. Ini pun berlaku untuk setiap hal lainnya. Maka dengan penuh keyakinan, semoga ya Allah, resolusi ku untuk tahun 2011 adalah berani mengambil bagian dalam pengembaraan untuk mencari kepenuhan hidup.

Belajar menyanyangi dan berani melihat apa dan siapa yang ada disekitar kita, sehingga pada akhirnya mengetahui perbedaan rasa yang muncul dalam hati ketika melihat sesuatu, dan menerimanya karena mungkin suatu saat nanti dan mungkin juga sudah terjadi bahwa dinding hati yang sudah dibangun selama ini akan ataupun telah runtuh..:)

Via ingin belajar membuang semua konsep lama dan berani meninggalkan semua nilai palsu yang sudah ditanamkan (***) yang sesungguhnya sampah, sekalipun ini susah dan tidak mudah, kiranya kemanapun kakiku melangkah, itu hanya karenaMu. 

Dan pada akhrnya, untuk Allah yang menciptakan dan cintanya diberikan untuk semua makluk, dan demi ciptaannya matahari yang bersinar untuk semua orang baik maupun tidak baik di mata manusia, udara yang dihirup oleh setiap orang, dan alam yang cintanya alami dan memberi ruang kehidupan bagi semua makluk, kiranya Via bisa belajar untuk menyayangi tanpa batas, dan berani meninggalkan batasan-batasan dan identitas yang dibuat untuk menemui semua orang dengan membawa diri sendiri..:) to be a borderless citizen.

Kiranya dalam setiap perjalanan Allah menyediakan mata air yang bisa menghilangkan rasa hausku dan menolongku untuk mencapai penemuan diriku dan DiriNya yang sesungguhnya.

KONTEMPLASI 2010

2010-12-31T18:43:00.001-08:00

Menikmati hari-hari bahagia di ruang Kresna Rumah Sakit Jiwa Bogor, membuat lupa bahwa kemaren adalah hari tutup tahun 2010. Hahahahaha…memang dalam hidup kita perlu menyediakan moment tertentu untuk merefleksikan semua yang sudah dilakukan selama setahun ini.

3 bulan pertama hasil refleksi di Komunitas sudah dibuat, namun tidak ada salahnya dituliskan lagi. Masih ada tanggung jawab yang tertinggal untuk tahun 2010..antara lain:
1. pembuatan video jurnalistik ttg kesehatan reproduksi. Dear Lord, semoga Via mendapat ampunan karena belum menyelesaikannya. Semoga di waktu yang tepat, tugas ini bisa selesai.
2. membuat proposal kegiatan Comdev untuk Komjak dan diajukan ke KSE mungkin. Masih dalam rencana. Ya Allah, semoga Via punya waktu untuk menyelesaikannya.
3. satu lagi ini yang membuat Via sedih, semoga sahabat terbaikku papi Zaky mau memaafkanku yang tidak datang ke pernikahannya. Dan tidak Cuma itu maaf karena tidak menjalankan amanah papi untuk mengumpulkan anak IELSP. Via harus jujur bahwa seandainya Via punya langkah antisipasi di awal mungkin mereka bisa datang ke hari bahagia Papi..:)
4. Via sendiri masih memiliki utang dengan SMP di Nias yang sudah memberikan pelajaran luar biasa. Semoga semuanya dapat berjalan dengan lancar.

Via sadar sepenuhnya untuk tahun 2010 ini, Via lebih banyak menghabiskan waktu di Facebook, bercerita dengan teman-teman Via sehingga penyelesaian tugas menjadi kurang optimal. Di satu sisi ada keuntungannya, komunikasi yang tetap terjaga dengan teman FIMERs, KOMJAK, dan my dear Oregonianz, teman di Maumere, kakak-kakakku, adek22ku tersayang, namun Via sadar juga bahwa Via menjadi lebih lemot di perkuliahan. Hahahahahhaahhahahah…Mungkin perlu penjadwalan, dan yang paling penting lagi adalah keberanian melihat realita. Via sadar juga bahwa dengan lebih banyak menghabiskan waktu di FB, Via menjadi lebih autis dengan teman-teman yang ada di sekitar Via. Ya ampun, maaf buat roomateku..heheheheheheh…sebenarnya kita berdua sama-sama autis…wkwkwk ya g dek?

Via mohon maaf sebesar-besarnya karena Via sadar di suatu masa, kita dihadapkan bahwa berbagai benturan impian, yang terkadang harus ada yang disisihkan terlebih dahulu karena satu dan lain hal, dan Via sendiri sudah memiliki prioritas sejak Agustus lalu memutuskan untuk mengambil profesi bahwa profesi di atas segala-galanya, bukan karena Via menggilai kuliah, tapi keputusan ini Via lakukan secara sadar dan saat ini Via yakin memprioritaskan profesi adalah keputusan yang tepat.

Via sadar bahwa di saat yang sama dengan memprioritaskan profesi, Via telah mengorbankan semua cita-cita, impian, harapan, dan kesempatan untuk mengembangkan diri secara lebih untuk sesuatu yang sungguh Via inginkan. Dan Via sadar juga bahwa pilihan profesi sesungguhnya adalah bukan keinginan Via, dan untuk semua hal yang telah Via korbankan:
1. kesempatan diterima kerja di LSM incaranku sejak dulu, yang sudah ada di depan mata.
2. kesempatan mengikuti Konferensi ISFiT di N*r*ay untuk topic maternal and child Health. Untuk sebuah mimpi You're invited, yang sudah Via lepaskan, Via rasa dengan legowo. Hahahahaha…( berbeda bukan rasanya ketika suatu hari di bulan Agustus lalu, menangis dari rektorat ke Pocin..hehehehhe)
3. kesempatan untuk berbakti bagi bangsa di FIM dalam FIM rescue
4. kesempatan untuk *M.. satu keinginan besarku
Via tahu bahwa jalan yang akan ditempuh ini benar-benar sulit, setahun ke depan, perasaan denial yang masih ada, penghargaan yang rendah dr masyarakat, namun Via pada akhirnya belajar juga bahwa semuanya itu sampah, pujian orang, stereotype baik, terhormat, semuanya tidaklah penting lagi, itu semua SAMPAH.
Via pernah merasa begitu bangga dan senang ketika setiap kali penerimaan rapor dipanggil ke depan, kemudian berjabatan tangan, semua orang mengucapkan selamat, bahkan ketika ke RIau, menjadi juara, dll.. ternyata semuanya tidak sama ketika Via bercerita dengan orang-orang yang luar biasa yang Via temui 3 minggu terakhir dip anti dan RSJ. Suatu hal yang tidak bisa Via gambarkan, saat salah memandikan, memenuhi kebutuhan dasarnya, mengambil bagian dalam pekerjaan yang kebanyakan orang termasuk Via sendiri dulunya merasa sangat jijik.
Kemudian saat di RSJ, ketakutan awal yang Via miliki, masih ingat ekspresi Via, teurtama minggu pertama saat ditempatkan di ruang akut, dan diberitahu bahwa orang yang akan berinteraksi kelak adalah dia yang masuk dengan berteriak-teriak sepanjang hari, meminta tolong dilepaskan kerangkengnya., menggigit pembimbing klinik saya, ( bekas lukannya masih ada).Thanks buat Pak wawan untuk kasih sayang yang besar yag anda miliki untuk sesama, semoga Allah, sang pemilik kehidupan melihatNya..
Dan sekarang, dia sudah pindah ruangan dengan tenang, Ya Allah terima kasih. Untuk saudaraku Uyeh, Imam, Agus, Sukron, dll, anda adalah guru terbesar saya dan hadiah terindah di penutup tahun 2010.
Benar kata Anthony de Mello, dalam hidup ada pengalaman tertentu yang tidak dapat diungkapkan dengan kata-kata, yang hanya dapat anda bawa sampai mati. Dan 2 minggu bersama kalian salah satunya. I'm crying while writing it…
Dan resolusiku buat 2010 adalah memberikan yang terbaik untuk profesi, membawa semua yang sudah kulakukan kepadaNya. Semoga Via mampu melewati semuanya. AMien… suka dan duka tiada berbeda saat bersamaMu.

Contemplation of three months..

2010-12-10T18:06:00.000-08:00

Hooray, finally the real weekend comes. Can't believe after 3 months of stressful matters. I bet, this is a time to celebrate all great things happen during 3 months of my clinical practice.
For the three month, I work on what I really want to learn. You know until right now, community health nursing is still the field of nursing which can earn my big curiosity how to solve health problem of society.
"My head is spinning, Still thinking of my biggest dream, HSPH. Still waiting for time to go there, elaborate public health study especially maternal and child. "

Three months full of rejections and acceptations at the same time, feel the balance of nature when you do something you really wanted to do, asked the family and community about what their needs, discussed with them.
" NGO", waiting for me!!! I bet I will work within U with a whole, with all of my heart.

Then, I bet, I've been more confident with all I do. Remember, such three months ago, my fears came up with me, when I had to examine the blood pressure, for my low enthusiasms and rejection of my self in physiology class.
" to be lecturer, of course still my hobby"

And finally for this three months, I've known at least, who's the one who really supports me. Thank You Lord for letting me know.

You're The lord of Your Time

2010-12-06T23:24:00.000-08:00

28 November 2010, in the midst of my busy time, when I was working on three assignment, my brother called me to meet up. That was like a big stone infringe on my head. I decided to turn off my hand phone and got focus on my crazy assignment.
Opening my laptop, there was a letter of Invitation to join Conference in Norway for February 2011. Dang it!! really wanted to shout louder, to yell every one.

Why do I have to work on a task ( read: to nurse patient, listen to their story). I don't want to do that. Really. I betray my conscious. I don't want to do that. All I want is just speaking. Speaking louder in ISFiT Forum, discuss with more than 500 youth all over the world.
Why do I have to work on that task?

May be for some reasons, I have to stay here, to hear them, listen to their story, take care of them ( patient). And finally, that is the true of what people call as " call" mystic things undefined. That was what I experienced these several days. A very smooth feeling undefined that I guess have touch my heart and I don't know how to turn it back, the same feeling when I hear the water fall down and touch the stone, and when I feel the sensation of soil and grass after rain. The pure feeling. That is what people call as HARMONY.

I always have time and right to choose where I'll be on 11-21 February 2011. Trondheim or Clinical Practice. Cause I'm the Lord of my own time. But the Biggest and the Owner of that time is just Him. So now, Let give me a sincerity to accept Your Rest.

tribute to my dear friends

2010-12-03T18:04:00.000-08:00

Tertawa lepas saat ujian bukanlah hal yang biasa. Namun itulah yang aku alami kemarin. Ujian profesi bukanlah hal yang ringan. Tidak lulus bisa membuat "kami" ( baca mahasiswa profesi FIK) bisa tidak tidur dan tidak nafsu makan. Namun itulah yang aku alami kemaren.

Kemarin pagi, saya telat sampai di Panti. Begitu saya tiba, K Wayan, K Dessy, Tirta, dan Juli sedang, berberes-beres, memotong kuku, menyisir rambut memakaikan bedak ke oma-oma yang ada di situ. Jika dilihat dari struktur yang saya pelajari 1 thn di Komjak, kegiatan ini mungkin sama sekali tidak menyentuh struktur. Namun pembelajaran terbesar saya dapatkan di sini, yaitu melihat sisi kemanusiaan seseorang. Banyak orang berbicara dan aktif dalam kegiatan advokasi, namun untuk bisa turun langsung, menyentuh mereka dengan tangan, menyapa, dan bahkan membersihkan pakaian mereka yang kotor, merapikan tempat tidur mereka, mengangkat kotoran yang ada di tempat tidur, di bawah kolong tempat tidur, mengepel lantai bekas BAK dan BAB.. itu persoalan yang berbeda.

Benar kata kaka pembimbing rohani (PKK) saya dulu, pada akhirnya rasa kemanusiaan yang menggerakkan sesorang untuk berbuat. . Mengenai hal ini terlalu sulit untuk diungkapkan karena hanya bisa dengan mengalami langsung.

Suasana nanti mungkin memang runyam, penuh benturan antar profesi , namun pada akhirnya saya belajar bahwa sesungguhnya ketika sesorang sedang marah yang perlu dikasihi adalah orang tersebut, yang saat itu sedang tidak berdaya. "Semoga Via tidak memanipulasi keadaan ini pada keadaan apapun dalam kehidupan". No one can makes you feel inferior withour your consent"

So, sekaranga, apapun yang dikatakan orang, betapa pun nilai yang sudah dibangun, bahwa untuk bisa menjadi sukses, kamu harus punya penghasilan cukup,dll. Itu semua sudah tidak penting lagi, karena bagi saya yang terutama adalah mengerjakan bagian yang disukai atau sekalipun tidak saya sukai dengan penuh kesadaran akan kemanusiaan dan tanpa tekanan dari struktur manapun.

Pengalaman pagi itu mungkin yang membuat saya bisa tertawa lepas sebebas-bebasnya sewaktu ujian siang harinya. Semuanya dilakukan hanya karena Dia yang memberikan kesempatan kepada kita untuk berbuat.
Ya, terima kasih untuk Bu Dwi yang semangat pengabdiannya sudah bisa saya lihat kemarin. Menyimak semua keadaan lansia. Dan memiliki motivasi belajar karena pada akhirnya ilmu tersebut akan digunakan untuk orang lain.:) sisanya hanyalah bonus..:)..

Sejujurnya ntah apapun kedepannya yang akan saya jalani, di dunia advokasi ataupun pendidikan ataupun pelayanan…terima kasih karena telah memberikan kesempatan untuk mengalami pengalaman2 ini..

Via tahu bahwa untuk bisa mengalami lebih, Via harus jujur pada diri sendiri, Via tahu bahwa ke depannya jalan Via mungkin akan berbeda, namun karena keyakinan akan adanya sesuatu yang disebut penyelenggaraan Ilahi yang terkadang harus dijalani sekalipun musti berputar-putar, dan tidak mengetahui di mana ujungnya. Karena setiap jalan yang Via minta dalam kontemplasi terhikmat yang pernah Via jalani dan pengalaman perjumpaan dengan orang-orang di luar dugaan selama masa menanti jawaban yang hampir membuat Via drop. I’ll do my best.
Semoga dalam masa satu tahun ini, Via bisa membuka mata hati dan telinga selebar-lebarnya.

Via mengetahui sepenuh hati bahwa profesi ini hanya untuk orang-orang luar biasa OUTSTANDING ..@ teman-teman profesiku..@ teman2 2005 I'm proud of U..

Ya Allah, lapangkanlah jalan kami untuk berjuang hanya karenaMu….:)

dear God

2010-10-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

Ya Allah, untuk setiap pelajaran luar biasa yang Via dapatkan selama ini terima kasih. mereka yang memberi Via banyak hal. satu hal pasti yang Via pelajari adalah hal-hal terbaik dalam hidup ini sesungguhnya adalah gratis..sangat ggratis..udara pagi..matahari..bulan..bintang...semuanya free..thanks God...

Refleksi Minggu ini

2010-10-23T00:22:00.000-07:00

Oh My Dear Lord..looks like a very little, soft, and gentle wind to be blown off...
thanks for finishing KOMJAK..aftter all..feels like pull a half of air out of my lungs..
Via jadi ingat mama..mama semoga Via berada di jalan yang benar..:)

dear God

2010-10-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ya Allah, ampunilah Via untuk mau terjebak dalam rutinitas hingga tidak memiliki waktu sejenak untuk diam mendengarkan apa yang Engkau katakan.
Tuhanku, keputusan sudah dibuat untuk mengambil salib mengikuti profesi, terus terang Ya Tuhan dan Via yakin Tuhan tahu, Via sudah hampir menyerah dan sekarang tinggal sisa-sisa semangat saja. Kadang-kadang Via pikir Via sudah lelah melewati semua ini. setiap saat bertemu dengan orang-orang. Tekanan dari dosen. Ya Tuhanku, tolong Via. Via tahu salib ini tidak seberapa berat dengan yang harus Engkau pikul dahulu. Via tahu juga saat Via mengambil profesi Via dengan sadar berdoa untuk menjadikannya sebagai salib yang harus dipanggil satu tahun ke depan.
Tuhanku, jika memang di suatu saat Via sampai pada titik yang paling rendah, kembalikan Via kepadaMu ya Tuhanku.

tulisan ade sinta

2010-08-16T11:15:00.000-07:00

aku hidup apa adanya,bersyukur atas segala yang tlh Tuhan berikan padaku.Itulah yang membuatku dapat menikmati indahnya hidup ini bersama orang-orang terdekatku....Melakukan yang terbaik buat mereka adalah hal yang terpenting bagiku karena melihat mereka bahagia,membuat hatiku pun bahagia...Hal yang paling ku sukai adalah memelihara hewan karena dengan melihat tingkah lucu mereka,dapat mengusir kesepian dan menghibur hatiku....aku pun suka membaca buku,buku yang sangat kusukai adalah Chicken Soup for The Soul,yang mengisahkan berbagai pengalaman hidup orang lain.Menurutku,dengan membaca pengalaman hidup orng lain,kita bsa belajr banyak hal tentang hidup ini walaupn kita tdak mengalaminya sendiri...Selain itu,aku juga sangat senang pada saat berkumpl n jalan2 bersama tmn2ku,saling curhat tentang berbagai hal,tertawa n bercanda bersama karena bagiku adanya sahabat membuat hidup kita terasa bermakna n waktu yang kita lalui terasa berarti...aku pun suka menulis di buku diary karena bagiku berbagai pengalaman silam dapat menjadi refleksi buatku untuk menjadi orang yang lebh baik di hari esok....Sesuai motto hidupku Hari ini lebih baik dri hari kemarin n hari esok hars lbh baik dr hari ini

Inilah salibku..

2010-08-10T04:29:00.000-07:00

Teringat pertama kali mendaftar Komjak, suatu komunitas belajar yang menampung para pemuda-pemudi katolik untuk melakukan analisis terhadap berbagai permasalahan sosial dan fenomena yang terjadi di masyarakat.

Bukan suatu hal yang mudah untuk tetap bertahan di komjak hingga detik ini karena Via tahu betul ketika itu bahwa semester 8 bukanlah hal yang mudah dijalani. Tidak seperti fakultas lain di Ui yang mana semester 8 pada umumnya adalah untuk skripsi, di FIK tetap ada kuliahnya, dan yang paling parah pula, Keperawatan Gawat Darurat, ditambah riset. Tetapi pada akhirnya masa-masa sulit itu dapat terlewati juga. Bahkan yang lebih parah ketika itu Via mengambil keputusan tetap mengikuti kegiatan KOmjak sabtu dan minggunya sekalipun senin, selasa, rabunya ada ujian. Sesuatu hal yang tidak pernah ( seingatku) akan dilakukan oleh Via sebelumnya.

Satu pembelajaran berharga yang Via dapatkan dalam proses selama hampir 8 bulan ini adalah selalu ada waktu bagi orang yang mau melakukan kebaikan. Benar seperti yang dikatakan Paulo Coelho dalam bukunya yang luar biasa bagusnya Sang Alkemis, ketika kamu benar-benar menginginkan sesuatu seluruh alam semesta akan bersatu padu mendukungmu meraihnya. Benar adanya juga bahwa segala sesuatu indah pada waktunya.

Rasanya tidak percaya, ketika Via bisa pergi ke klub malam untuk melakukan observasi di tengah ketakutan luar biasa mengenai apa yang akan Via alami, dan rasanya juga tidak percaya bahwa Via punya keberanan untuk menemui buruh pabrik, pergi ke kantor penghubung Papua, ngeobrol dengan mereka dan orang yang ada di sana ( kecuali di klub malam, Via benar-benar mati kutu). Hahahaha…

Rasanya juga tidak percaya pada pertengahan bulan April, Via mendapat telpon bahwa Via bisa ikutan FIM, karena ada peserta yang mengundurkan diri ketika itu. Ya ampun, sepertinya semuanya sudah diatur oleh Nya. 2 kegiatan ini: Komjak dan FIM adalah 2 hal yang aku tunggu selama satu tahun dan sekarang tercapai juga. Jadi ingat IELSP dan K2N di tahun 2009 kemaren 

Rasanya juga tidak percaya, kegiatan FIM yang sesungguhnya mengambil waktu kuliah dapat Via ikuti tanpa beban karena mata kuliah yang biasanya ada di hari Kamis dan Jumat dibatalkan. So perfect. dan dalam 2 minggu berturut-turut setelah sebelumnya mendapatkan keberanian untuk pergi ke klub malam di Komjak, sekarang pelajaran mengenai keberanian juga, tidak percaya rasanya ketika itu Via berani menaiki ketinggian untuk meluncur dengan flying fox.

Semuanya membawa Via ke pelayanan yang sesungguhnya, mengajar di rumah belajar KITA. Via tahu ini tidak mudah karena Via harus membimbing ade2 tersebut untuk mengenal Allahnya sementara Via sendiri berbeda keyakinan dengan mereka. Tapi satu hal yang Via yakini adalah bukankah tujuan pendidikan yang sesungguhnya adalah membawa manusia mengenai Allahnya, mendekatkan dirinya dengan Allah yang diyakininya dan mengenal dirinya lebih dalam. Nilai universal yang Via bawa. Dengan Niat yang tulus oleh karena cinta kepada sang pencipta ( semoga) yang telah memberikan semuanya kepada Via. Hari yang paling membahagiakan di rumbel adalah ketika Via " berhasil membujuk ade2 sholat dipimpin oleh Ucok, ya Tuhan, terima kasih, semoga mereka semakin mengenal Mu selalu ritualnya, agamanya. Itu hari yang paling membahagiakan. Teringat cerita dalam film lascar pelangi, salah seorang guru menyebutkan bahwa muridnya adalah amanah Allah yang harus dididik.
Terima kasih Tuhan. Inilah salah satu salib Via yang sesungguhnya, yang mungkin dalam agama lain di sapa sebagai amanah. Bukankah Allah menciptakan semuanya setara di matanya, dan Allah yang sama juga yang menerbitkan matahari di timur untuk semua orang, baik jahat atau pun baik, tanpa peduli latar belakang agama dan pendidikannya, dan menurunkan hujan untuk semuanya.

Tuhanku Yesus, selidikilah hati ku selalu, jika ada yang salah, perasaa superior, iri hati, dengki, tolong ya Tuhanku.. Via milikmu..:)

Sebulan lagi, salah satu salib menanti umatmu yang berada di rumah sakit, di komunitas. Tuhanku semoga ilmu yang telah Kau berikan kepadaku dapat berguna bagi orang lain. Suatu " kehormatan dan berkat buatku menerima salibMu. Apapun yang dikatakan dunia tentang profesi yang akan kujalani nanti, semua penyesalan dan kekecewaanku, denial yang mungkin masih ada, Tuhanku biarlah namamu saja yang terutama dimuliakan. Karena sesungguhnya lebih bahagia di dalamMu. Asalkan dapat bersatu denganMu suka ataupun duka sama saja.  Tuhanku, Via suka teledor, Via masih denial, Via susah bekerja di bawah tekanan, Via takut naik kereta, Via takut menyebrang jalan, Via takut menyuntik, Via takut melihat darah, Via tidak punya uang yang cukup untuk profesi ini. Itu Via yang sesungguhnya, atau Via yang menilai diri sendiri sesuai standar dunia. Tuhanku, pakailah Via dengan segala kekurangan yang Via punya untuk menyatakan kemuliaanMu. Amien.

May be, this is my Way

2010-07-20T03:13:00.000-07:00

This is a month with a very blessing unpredicted gifts to me. Last week, I was working in the office of one NGO which located in Jl. Wahid Hasyim, when I remembered that this work is what I really wanted to be in since I guess the 3rd year of my lecture. As an voluntary staff, I know my salary is just enough for transportation and eating for one day, but what made me really wanted to be here is just because of my dream to work on community health project is really fit in with what I’m learning right now in this kind of internship program. Like an idioms make your dream nearer to you day by day. I love doing that even though almost every day I have to fight with almost 2 hundred people in the train. A very bad transportation management, reminds me of discussion session with panelist in Komjak.
Back to 2 years ago, I was in the middle of bare, when unpredicted and unwanted gift to be accepted as one of finalist of Outstanding student in my faculty. I had no idea, what proposal should be written to apply for my supervisor at that time. Unintentionally, one morning, in the bathroom, I remembered two topics which have stolen my heart in that last weeks, trans-cultural and women health. And then I tried to work on that thesis, even in a very bare situation, because of my other dream. Until right now, I still have to be happy for that thesis. ( what kind of thesis is not really important to be explained here, it has its own session)
After waiting for 2 years, finally I had chance to work on maternal and child health project, for NGO which concern about child health. and what makes me happier is the situation in that office, almost everyday I can hear people great others with smiling face, and ask how’s your day, how’s that project, I think that we have to..., bla bla bla..so dynamic.
The other one is to be participated as facilitator for one month in Public Health Center. For every singe step to get there, I really thank God, that’s like the real life. Many people talking something bad about nursing but I know it’s not definitively because of their bad. Situations have conspired. I really love this profession without a point to be explained. Honor and Glory. It’s undescribable feeling. But Nursing, I’m still in love with You.
Hopefully, next really I can totally work on that project, or if Lord have other plan to me, to continue my study, I really hope I can study about that project.. Let’s improve women and child health.

All about my dear Father..I’ll always be Daddy’s Girl

2010-07-12T08:05:00.000-07:00

Siang itu seperti siang hari-hari biasa, aku pulang menumpangi angkutan umum, bersama teman-temanku, yang berbeda adalah perasaan berkobar-kobar dalam hatiku. Tak sabar aku ingin berteriak memberitahukan mereka, terutama ayahandaku yang tercinta.
Tak lama kemudian angkot berhenti dan aku turun, menyebrang jalan dan berlari dengan semangat 45 mencari sosok berusia setengah baya yang ternyata sedang duduk bercerita dengan ibundaku tercinta. Bapa saya ke Riau”, teriakku sambil memeluk punggungnya dan meperlihatkan secarik kertas undangan mengikuti Seleksi Nasional Tim Olimpiade Biologi Indonesia. Beliau menangis mendengarnya dan masuk ke dalam rumah. Bapa memang selalu begitu. Mamaku juga.
Sejujurnya, Via memang selalu dekat dengan dia. Pria yang kurindukan ceritanya tentang zaman keemasan prestasi bulu tangkis Indonesia,Tan Jun Hoek, Rudi Hartono, Lim Swi King, dan semuanya, ceritanya tentang sepakbola dunia, mulai dari zaman Pele, Mario Kempes, Franz Beckenbour, Michael Platini, Maradona, dan semuanya.
Bagi sebagian orang memang itu tidak terlalu dan bukan cerita menarik, tetapi bagiku itu luar biasanya, seperti biasa, beliau adalah kamus berjalan jika ditanya tentang sejarah Indonesia, sejarah dunia, pengetahuan umum. Beliau pintar sekali dan sejujurnya itu diakui banyak orang.
Dan yang paling membuat aku bahagia beliau tidak pernah mnayatakan kehebatannya kepada aku dan ade-adeku sampai di hari kematiannya, seseorang membacakan riwayat hidupnya dan aku baru tahu kalau beliau pernah mendapat penghargaan satya Lencana Karya Satya dari Presiden RI. ( I write it because I really proud of You and thank God for give me great father like You, Bapa)
Banyak orang menyepelekan profesi PNS tetapi aku melihat sendiri bagaimana beliau pulang dengan setumpuk pekerjaan yang diselesaikan di rumah. Beliau mungkin tidak sempurna tetapi bagiku dia yang paling sempurna.
Via tidak akan pernah lupa tatapan sayangnya waktu melepas Via ke Jakarta karena senang, Via lulus spmb dan sedih karena harus berpisah dengan putri “kesayangannya”heheheh. Adalagi ekspresi kuatir ketiak Via sakit, bukan kepalang membekasnya dan itu memang terlihat sekali. Mamaku sendiri mengakuinya dan Via tahu betapa sedihnya beliau berpisah dari Via. Hampir setiap malam ada telpon menanyakan sudah tidaur belum, setiap siang, anakku sayang dah makan belum dan tentu setiap pagi dibangunkan.
Di saat dibangunkan pagi hari itulah terjadi tawar menawar yang luar biasa, 5 menit lagi ya Bapa, eh 10 menit deh...dan jawaban dari sebelah pasti; bagaiman Indonesia bisa maju kalau putrinya seperti ini”.
OH Dear Lord.. Hope this letter find him in very good condition.
Tidak ada hal yang paling Via rindukan ketika maju ke depan mengangkat Piala, menerima penghargaan selain berteriak memberitahukan kepadanya. Sekarang mungkin itu tidak akan terjadi lagi tetapi hati dua orang yang saling menyayangi tidak akan terbatas oleh ruang dan waktu. Di alam apapun itu dalam bentuk roh di dalam raga atau hanya tinggal roh saja , itu bukan pembatasnya. Via tahu dia selalu manyayangi Via.

Transkulutural Keperawatan

2010-06-30T09:34:00.000-07:00

kata ini membawa saya kepada masa 2,5 tahun yang lalu, sewaktu perkuliahan masih bersifat amat sangat umum dan relatif ( bisa dikatakan mudah). Belajar tentang Pengembangan Kesehatan Masyarakat,( Pendidikan Kesehatan, Promosi Kesehatan)saya lupa tepat nama mata ajarnya, Pengantar Ilmu Sosial Politik, Epidemiologi, dan Mata kuliah Transkultural Keperawatan. Mata Kuliah yang terakhir ini amat sangat membekas di hati saya.

transkultural keperawatan yang adalah mata kuliah hasil penggabungan antara antropologi dengan keperawatan. yups: mungkin persamaan dua bidang ilmu ini adalah melihat manusia sebagai makluk yang utuh dari sisi bio psiko sosio spiritual dan cultural.

saya teringat ketika itu ibu Enny N. dan pak Jajang menjelaskan materi kuliah ini dengan amat sangat baik. sekalipun lebih banyak ceritanya tetapi saya suka. mungkin karena latar belakang saya yang adalah anak daerah yang dipenuhi nilai-nilai tradisional, jd mata kuliah ini seperti review.

teringat dulu sewaktu tanta saya sedang mengandung sepupu saya, mama saya bilang, nanti jangan ambil telur dari sangkarnya, jangan makan anona...hahhaha:) huzz..jangan tertawa Via..tidak boleh menertawakan keyakinan orang lain..heheheheh

Benar, kebudayaan berhubungan langsung dengan kesehatan. jadi menggebu-gebu ingin belajar antropologi kesehatan. semangat Via

All about FIM 9

2010-06-29T18:32:00.000-07:00

Sudah hampir 3 bulan sejak April lalu, kami berkumpul di Wiladatika, Cibubur. Belum sempat sharing ceritanya. Tentu saja untuk dikenang di masa mendatang, takut LUpa..
I was so lucky to be accepted as participant. That was a Providentia Dei, I call, coz saya sesungguhnya adalah peserta cadangan, karena tidak melampirkan surat rekomendasi dari organisasi. kesibukan mengurus tugas akhir, praktikum, terlebih saat itu saya adalah EX bemers dan tidak masuk organisasi satu pun.
sungguh sebuah keberuntungan yang luar biasa, bertemu teman-teman yang luar biasa dengan semangat dan idealismenya dari seluruh penjuru tanah air.
hari pertama, ketika itu saya datang terlambat. Tidak seperti event lainnya suasana kekeluargaan sudah mulai tampak. saya menjadi peserta yang tidak mengikuti aturan sejak awal karena tidak memakai sepatu.
ada Bunda Tatty, pak Elmir, dan keluarga yang ternyata adalah keluarga luar biasa dengna limpahn kasih sayang, mengingatkan saya sepenuhnya dengan Bapa dan Mama, ternyata mereka juga memiliki 3 orang Putri..sama seperti keluarga saya...bedanya keluarga Bunda memiliki 2 Putra.
sesi yang luar biasa tiada duanya, dengan FGD yang luar biasa juga. tidak bisa saya jelaskan secara rinci, namun yang jelas satu hal yang saya tangkap adalah ketulusan dari Bunda dan pak Elmir untuk membina generasi muda yang saya percaya akan menajdi pemimpin di masa mendatang, dan bukan tidak mungkin akan menduduki posisi strategis di negeri ini. ( Aroma nya sudah tercium )

FGD sendiri luar biasa; terima kasih banyak dear all friends, kangen kalian amat sangat..ketawa dan lelucon Jarwo, Teguh, ahli mesin asal Yogya, yang jgo nembang..ada Vina, sang ladies traveler, sang ( sama kita Vin..suka travel, moga bisa mengikuti Jejakmu lagi tahun depan) amien...waiting for one word You're invited... dhani Kuda, yang selalu semangat, bang Zul dan K'Umar yang sudah membantu menjelaskan keadaan papua...bang Raafqi..passion to learn is one thing I learn from bang Raafq..jadi semangat lagi untuk belajar terus dan terus.. Nafi yang baik hati dan kalem, tetapi punya ide yang luar biasa..ada Luthfi yang jago retorika, yang ilmu politiknya mantap abiz, ada Bang faris; oi penonton...yang ternyata jago ngelenong..sumpah kocak abis, ada Dheni; sang duata wisata pariaman, ada Vanessa, scientist sekaligus entrepreneur Lavossa..Wulan adeku sayang yang saat ini bareng mengurus rumbel..luar biasa mengenalmu adeku semangat terus
ada Cyntia, artis kita yang bagus suaranya dan jago nari..goodluck for Polandia dek..Bersama Mba Jet C mba yang bijaksana, Najmi sang Ibu Asrama dan Bang Nurdin yang pendiam dan halus...great moment to meet U...

benar danya perubahan tetap harus dimulai dari dalam diri sendiri...satu hal yang Via dapatkan dan transformasi yang Via dapatkan di tempat lain ( KOMJAK)... With a lot of my heart..

I believe in Providentia Dei

2010-06-29T08:26:00.000-07:00

Providentia Dei, kata itu yang mungkin tepat menggambarkan kejadian tidak terduga hari ini. Via baru saja berlelah-lelah sepulang dari Puskesmas Sawangan, untuk mengerjakan salah satu proyek yang sangat amat Via syukuri.
hujan deras tiada duanya sore tadi, membuat Via tidak bisa pulang dengan segera. Untunglah Via membawa lapotop kesayangan. Yups..lumayan mengusir kebosanan.
singkat cerita pada akhirnya Via berlabuh di tempat mangkal Renova Lili dan bang Ekstensi yang kemudian Via tahu bernama bang Aziz. Thank U Pren karena telah membawa ku kembali pada sesuatu yang hampir saja Via lepaskan karena kebodohan dan ketakutan ketakutan dalam diri Via sendiri. Sure U can pass it through..honey..untuk saat ini tanpa bermaksud memegahkan diri, tapi sejujurnya hampir semua orang yang mengenal Via berkata sangat bodoh jika Via melepaskan Profesi hanya karena Via takut, karena ketakutan Via sama sekali tidak beralasan.
Via memang terlalu banyak terpengaruh dengan masa kecil Via dulu ketika orang hanya melihat dari Black n White dan memarginalkan golongan black termasuk Via di dalamnya, sehingga pikiran Via terprogram dengan semua hal negatif bahkan tentang diri Via sendiri. Via harus berani melihat diri Via secara jujur dan "Giant Potensi ( kata K" Tita) yang selama ini tersembunyi.
Ampuni Via Tuhan, karena telah menyembunyikan dan menidurkan potensi Via selama ini karena takut tidak diterima dan menerobos struktur.
Tuhan..Via benar-benar merindukan moment itu, moment dimana Via berbicara kepada Via dan tugas Via hanya mendengarkan, moment Tuhan berpicara melalui Piala yang terangkat, pertemuan tidak terduga dengan orang-orang yang tidak terduga juga, peristiwa-peristiwa yang tidak terduga juga.
semua sanjungan pujian perendahan, semuanya mungkin membentuk Via, tetapi itu bukan diri Via. Tuhanku, mungkin diri Via yang sebenarnya adalah bertahun-tahun yang lalu, ketika Via bermain sendirian dengan batang kayu dan satu pensil yang menjadi jarum suntik dengan pohon-pohon sebagai pasien dan murid-murid.
Mungkin diri Via sesungguhnya adalah ketika Via menyanyi setiap hari dengan bahagia, tertawa lepas tanpa beban sekalipun uang di tangan hanya 10000rb rupiah.
dan mungkin Via juga adalah putriMu yang 4 tahun yang lalu dinding hatinya telah runtuh sehingga malu mengakui kebenaran paling sejati dari kehidupan.
Tuhan Yesus, keputusan mengambil profesi telah dibuat, semoga tidak ada lagi kelak perasaan berdosa kepada ad sinta dan Lussy karena tahun ini Via akan menghabiskan banyak uang mama. semoga Tuhan mencukupkan semua yang dibutuhkan oleh kedua adekku tersebut. karena jika Tuhan tidak berkenan, pertemuan luar biasa sore ini tidak akan ada...Providentia Dei.. Thank U Lord

3 kata untuk hari ini : profesi, LN, antropologi

29 Juli 2010
via_starry@beloved.room

Best friends

2010-06-09T23:56:00.000-07:00

Sudah 1 minggu ini Via liburan, setelah semua perkuliahan dan ujian selesai. Entah karena jenuh atau apa. Via benar-benar malas. sudah 2 minggu internet di kosan berjalan, jadi lumayan setiap hari bisa browsing just to kill the time. sesungguhnya yang Via nantikan sekarang adalah Yudisium. Oh my dear Lord, semoga Via lulus semuanya, dan semoga perjalanan 5 tahun ditambah 1 tahun masa pencarian jati diri ( ^_^) ini tidak sia-sia. Ya Tuhanku. Terkait dengan internet akhir-akhir ini Via suka mendownload, lagu Jadul. Ntah kenapa Via suka dengan lagu Jadul. tetapi mungkin lagu itu membawa Via ke zaman SD dan SMP, masa-masa bersama TVRI dan RRI yang membangun Via menjadi seperti sekarang. Hehehehehe. ditambah lagi setiap teringat lagu itu jadi teringat kampung halaman. Terima kasih untuk persaudaraan hampir 20 tahunan dengan Ela dan Imo.

Terima kasih Tuhan untuk persahabatan selama hampir 10 tahun bersama Dance, Oni, Yesti ( Good luck buat kuliah kalian Bro and Sister)..selanjutnya teman-teman TK dulu, Linda Kabut, yang lainnya dah lupa, terutama buat Linda Kabut dan...( aduh saya lupa) bocah-bocah cilik yang berkeliling kompleks Walikota Kupang, membuat orang tua kita panik mencari-cari kita keliling kota Kupang ( hehehehee). Selanjutnya teman-teman SDI Habi, ada Motik, Febi, Merlin dll. dah pada ke mana semua ya kalian...ada kaka nona wilda, kaka Hesti, kaka Sus, ada Ferdi, para sepupu2ku di Weko, Wetak, dll, di Kupang, K Avis, K Yevis ( Pak Guru dan Bu Guru yang sudah jadi PNS), K Nepis, calon Pendeta, K'Roy, Aris, Sweet, dll.

Tentu saja dua twinsku yang lucu n cantik Ad Sinta n Ad Lusi..LOve U all full..

Selanjutnya di SD Bahktyarsa, ada Dewi ( mba ayu asli Jawa), Maya Yosal ( yang sekarang dah makin cantik n kayak Model eh salah seharusnya jadi Model), Yani ( di Aussie kalo g salah sekrang), Selki, Ade, Alfons, Ovan ( alm.), Tomi ( geng penabuh Gong Waning yang mantap Abizz) kalian seharus dah melanggang buana ke berbagai negara dengan mengikuti lomba kesenian..hiks22 , Garry ( jadi ingat pertanyaanMu bro..waktu untuk pertama kalinya dapat juara dua sejak kelas 4 SD sampai SMP kelas 2 cawu 1), bagaimana rasanya Via menjadi Juara 2)..hahahahaha..dll. Miss all of You.

Masuk SMP kelas 1 sekelas sama Garry, SinSIN, Listan, Jack, Rudi, Etus, Papa Boli, Santi Litong..kelas dua bertemu lagi dengan Maya, Yani, lalu ada Heni, Vian, Paul, Ika de Porez, Sherly, Ina Ama, Dua e..e pae Ba...miu???

Renungan

Erros Djarot & Deddy Sukasah

Di kesunyian kumerenung
duduk bersimpuh berkawan angin
terpejam mata tanpa bersuara
menghayati peranan jiwa

Tiada kata yang terucap
saat sinarMu datang menyapa
betapa kecil
diriku ini dibatas bayangMu

Datanglah sepanjang hari
jangan lepas lagi
dekap diri ini
dalam pelukanmu

Puji syukur padamu Tuhan
Hanya namaMu kuberlindung

Suka dan Duka tiada berbeda

Saat bersamaMu

Bimbinglah selalu diriku ini di jalanMu Tuhan

Review Pendidikan Indonesia

2010-06-09T08:14:00.001-07:00

Setelah kurang lebih setengah jam perjalanan, mobil putih yang kami tumpangi akhirnya sampai juga di tempat tujuan yaitu salah satu SMP di daerah Nias Utara. Saya bersama 2 orang teman saya yang saat itu sedang menjalankan tugas sebagai evaluator program kerja salah satu LSM. Tugas saya ketika itu melakukan evaluasi program Perpustakaan Keliling yang sudah dijalankan oleh LSM tersebut sejak 2007 yang lalu.

Bangunan sekolah itu sekilas tampak seperti sekolah lain di daerah saya. Ada kebun jagung di depannya. Namun yang menarik adalah dindingnya yang putih tidak seputih tembok sekolah biasa. Catnya sudah mulai luntur. Atapnya pun sudah mulai berkarat. Ketika kami memasuki lorong, lantai sekolah yang sudah rusak tampak becek. Bangunan berbentuk segi empat dengan lapangan tengah di tengah ada lapangan yang kemungkinan tempat berkumpul namun rumputnya tinggi terkesan tidak terawat. Jalanan menuju sekolah tersebut berbatu dan becek ketika hari itu karena hujan.

Kami menyalami Bapak Ibu guru yang ada di situ satu persatu dengan salam Yahowu salam khas orang Nias. Bapak dan Ibu guru di situ tampak heran dengan kedatangan kami, namun segera kami diberikan bangku. Setelah memperkenalkan diri, kami lalu dibawa kepada Kepala Sekolah SMP tersebut. Setelah berbincang-bincang beberapa saat saya dibawa bertemu dengan beberapa anak sekolah tersebut untuk mewawancarai program mobile library yang berjalan selama ini.

Yang menarik perhatian bukanlah program tersebut. Tetapi kondisi perpustakaaan tersebut. Keadaan yang membawa saya ke masa kecil saya dahulu ketika masih di kampong. Namun, jika dibandingkan dengna keadaan perpustakaan sekolah saya dulu, keadaan perpustakaan di sini jauh dari kondisi layak perpustakaan. Ntah sudah berapa lama perpus tersebut tidak digunakan. Pintu perpustakaan yang diganjal dengan selotan dan ditutup dengan palang kayu sementara konsisi di dalamnya buku-buku ditumpuk begitu saja. Ternyata buku-buku tersebut adalah buku-buku kurikulum lama yang disuplai, tetapi sesungguhnya tidak sesuai dengna kurikulum yang berlaku sekarang.

Ruang perpustakaan berukuran sekitar 7 x 5. Dindingnya terlihat bekas hitam berbatas tegas. Ternyata itu adalah batas air pada saat beberapa tahun yang lalu terjadi banjir. Buku-buku yang ada di perpustakaan tersebut juga sebagian besar adalah buku2 yang berhasil diselamatkan dari banjir pada waktu itu. Terlihat memang bekas basah terkena air.Lemari lapuk, buku2 yang sudah berlubang, meja yang hanya dua buah berdebu.

Ini hanya lebih potret kecil tentang pendidikan di Indonesia yang sudah seharusnya kita akui bersama bahwa tidak semua warga Negara Indonesia merasakan hal yang sama. Saya sempat tergelitik ketika menonton acara di TV mengenai kelulusan siswa dalam UN dan salah seorang teman saya ( yang nota bene berasal dari sekolah unggulan) menggerutu " heran deh gw, sebenarnya apa sih yang ditakutkan dari UAN..perasaan soalnya gampang semua"

Terus terang saya marah ketika itu dan ingin berteriak di telinganya Hey plis, untuk dirimu yang gurunya adalah S2, dengan semua fasilitas lengkap, buku pelajaran lengkap, belum lagi ada les tambahan mungkin itu mudah. Tetapi bagi diriku n teman2 di daerah yang guru berpendidikan sma ( tapi sejujurnya saya tahu guru sma saya sangat pintar)

Penyamarataan standar pendidikan perlu dilakukan memang, tetapi apakah keadaan sekarang sudah adil, apakah sistem UAN dapat mengevaluasi pendidikan yang berjalan. Saya setuju dengan pernyataan bapak Arief Rahman, bahwa bukan system pendidikan di Indonesia yang menghasilkan manusia yang cerdas, tetapi manusia nya yang memang sudah cerdas, hanya saja sistemnya belum bisa memfasilitasi manusia Indonesia yang sudah sangat cerdas itu untuk memanfaatkan kemampuannya.

Tahun lalu saya bersama teman2 saya yang melakukan Kuliah Kerja Nyata di salah satu pulau paling luar Indonesia melihat sendiri betapa lemahnya kualitas pendidikan kita. Mulai dari infrastrukturnya sampai dengan kurangnya tenaga pendidik. ( saya tidak ingin menyebutkan kuliatas, karena saya percaya mereka telah melakukan yang terbaik dengna kekurangan yang mereka punya untuk anak didiknya). Bahkan ada siswa SMP kelas 1 yang membaca saja belum lancar. Pelajaran yang seharusnya mengikuti kurikulum yang ditetapkan pemerintah terpaksa diganti menjadi mundur hampir 2 tahun sebelumnya karena memang situasi tidak memungkinkan untuk mengikuti kurikulum yang berlaku.

Saya sendiri,belajar mengenai bentuk sel, mikroba, jamur, tanpa mikroskop yang baik, belajar larutan penyangga, tanpa melihat langsung dengna benar reaksi kimianya seperti apa, bahkan larutan yang ada di lemari laboratorium kimia kami adalah bekas gempa tahun 1992 yang lalu. Bahkan pengalaman paling memalukan ketika saya mengikuti OSN 2004 dan saya tidak tahu sama sekali cara menghidupkan mikroskop electron seperti apa. Saya tidak mengerti ketika teman-teman saya dari Jakarta ketika itu membicarakan Buku Champbel ( salah spell) yang ternyata adalah text book Biologi. Saya catat itu dalam hati dan sejujurnya menjadi kecemburuan besar terhadap teman-teman yang bisa menikmati fasilitas pendidikan dengan baik.

Di bawah Tiang Bendera..Frangky S. Iwal FAls n Iwan Antono..

2010-05-28T01:10:00.000-07:00

Kita adalah saudara
dari rahim ibu pertiwi
ditempa oleh gelombang
dibesarkan jaman
dibawah tiang bendera

Dulu kita bisa bersama
dari cerita yang ada

Kita bisa saling percaya
yakin dalam melangkah
lewati badai sejarah

[reff:]
Pada tanah yang sama kita berdiri
pada air yang sama kita berjanji
karena darah yang sama jangan bertengkar
karena tulang yang sama usah berpencar
Indonesia… Indonesia

Mari kita renungkan
lalu kita bertanya
benarkah kita manusia
benarkah bertuhan
katakan aku cinta kau

FIM..I'm coming...

2010-04-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

Hooray, I am accepted as one of the participant of Forum Indonesia Muda. Thanks God for beyond I have chance to meet and discuss with all brilliant Youth from all region of Indonesia. and of course, I'm lucky to meet each of them, person who has ideas to develop Indonesia.

It was 11 o'clock my cell phone rang, I saw the call number, a new number. I answer the call, women's voice over there said hallo and asked me " Edit, this is from FIM committee, have you checked FIM website?" I just said, not yet, but then I corrected that 4 days ago I had checked and didn't find my name there as the participant that means my application was rejected. for my name was not there, I assumed that I had lost chance to join FIM.

that women asked me" do you still want to join FIM"
of course, I have been waiting for one year. last year I lost chance because late to know the deadline of this event.
I explained her that I really want to join this forum and apologized that I couldn't submit the Letter of reference because I was really busy for this last month for doing my proposal and research.

She answer by saying " Congratulation Edit, You are accepted as the Participant of FIM.

I remember of One day seminar which held by K2N committee several months ago. One of the speakers said that to develop our country is the responsibility of all individual in our country, and each of us do our part. My part right now is do all the best I can, to create better colours for all my surrounding.
FIM which is stand for Forum Indonesia Muda, I know I am so small to be there among all great youth activist, which have many very powerful ideas. But I believe that this is a gratification from my dear Lord, and this is not out from his Master Plan. Whatever you ask me to do, I will. Hope fully, I'm on the right track to execute The Almighty's will.

J Via_starry@belovedroom

4 my dream

2010-04-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

I really love one quota from Paulo Coelho, what the mind wants, the heart desires, and the world conspires to help U. I think that one of my experience has approve it. so enjoy reading my story.
This is a little story of me about IELSP, which stands for Indonesia English Language Study Program; Yeah, after all, I got that scholarship; that sponsored by US Department of State that gives chance to Indonesian student to study English intensively and very lucky also for me because this scholarship take me to the land of my dream " USA".
Instead learned English, I also could learn American and International culture for we joined immersion class which gave me chance to study with many student around the world.
The story began 2 year ago when I got information that IELSP had been opened again. Actually, I had known about this scholarship because actually I ever applied for that scholarship at the previous batch and reached the interview session. But I was fail there. At that moment, I was very desperate that I could make it again.
It took for 1 months for me to consider to apply for that scholarship. You know why, I thought that I was unqualified to join this program. I just had 2 achievement in academic third position for outstanding student in faculty and as the Highest GPA for my batch. I never joined community involvement before and for organization experiences, to be compared with other students, I guess that I was very bad J
One things that reinforced me is when I was in the train to Gondangdia and thinking about that scholarship at the same moment, I saw " a bright way" women who interviewed me was sitting on the desk at the Peron of Tebet Statiun. I claimed my self at that time that this batch is my turn" But again, I got down again knowing that just one student will be the representative of their university. :P
For all these reasons, I'd just applied for this scholar at the deadline; 15 July 2008 and as the last applicant. ( so funny, but I felt that God really led my way)
I'd just finished my essay at 2 p.m. and after that, I copied all the documents. With a lot of passion, I went to shuttle bus, for waiting for bus, and after all I arrived safely at Menara Imperium at 4 p.m. that day was very different because actually it should be traffic ran to the receptionist and asked her, whether the application was still opened. She gave her bright smile and ask my application, sign it with the date of arrival, and then put it to the box. I saw there's a lot of envelops there. From the receptionist I knew that It had been more than 1000 applications at that time.
4 august, I got call from IIEF for interview session
6 august, at 10 am. I arrived at LBI Salemba. A lot of people there were speaking in English. After 30 minutes a man before me, called my name, and I entered the room. I introduced my self to that woman who was there. I guess that she is an English teacher in my campus. She asked me about my family, my study, my dreams, my act ivies, and my achievements, and the last question about the most pressing issue faced by Indonesia. I forget my answer exactly. I just remember that I told her about crisis of energy, malnutrition, women health, and young people who had lost of their national identity. She conducted a " very in depth interview" I guess. Made me elaborate more and more my answer. Looks like a never ending question. At that time, I thought that I was very fooled. I was disappointed about my interview cause I didn't speak fluently as usual. I didn't give my best. I will never forget her expression when I asked her " May You repeat the question Mom?" One tactic to give me more time to think. But I guess that she knew that. I went back with a lot of disappointments.
13 agust 2008
I was in Bandung, looking for rent house for my sister when I got a call from IIEF. "May be, I forgot to attach some document so they wanted to clarify it" my mind
A woman, who next time I know as mba Ama, introduced her self and asked me, have u ever applied for IELSP. Do you know IIEF??
Honestly, I didn't know what's IIEF stands for? I just said apologized that I don't know exactly IIEF stands for. She said that Edit, You have to know what kind of scholarship that you apply for and what's the institution? Even it is an institution that will give you scholarship.
I was shock. What do you mean, mba? She congratulated me by saying " Selamat ya Dit, kamu salah satu penerima beasiswa IELSP" I don't know how to translate it in English in the exact words.
Unbelievable that I was accepted, but I really thank God for this chance. To be honest, when I see other grantees of this scholarship, I feel that I'm nothing. Papi Zaky, from ITB, he is a grantee of PPSDMS, the winner of many IT competition, the pioneer of student movement, Yunai, from UGM, she is one of Student representative of Indonesia in Asian Youth Camp, and then Andi, President of Association of Indonesian Nursing Student, the others are activist of many organization in their campus.
Thinking positively, one day I made objective evaluation of my self about what good things I ever heard about my self. Many things I got ( I can't tell you ), so I conclude that those are may be the reasons why I was accepted but actually I didn't realized it. Talents that I never seen. Lord, I offer all it back to You. Hopefully, You can help me find the way to know and use it just for Your Glory.
Even I have to postpone my graduation one year and lose a scholarship which can make me survive until graduation as the consequence, I will regret it. I had prayed for this opportunity and I saw gravity come and come again to me. Many great life learning I got for about one last year.
This is the beginning of my story. What I want to say is never give up, keep struggling until your dream come true. All things need their own process and we are shaping to be what God's will. Our turn is coming.
Thanks also for KOMJAK for helping me write it. Sorry for all my friends, I've just post my story today..heheheheh

4 MY DREAM...

2010-04-05T06:15:00.000-07:00

Life Learning for March 2010

2010-04-02T07:31:00.000-07:00

Disiplin

Mudah diucapkan tetapi sulit untuk dilaksanakan. Teringat selalu telat datang menyelesaikan tugas kelompok. Oh Meta, maafkan daku. Telat bangun pagi padahal sudah membuat jadwal doa pagi. Malas merapikan kamar.

Tanggung jawab

Teringat kembali akan renungan yang via buat untuk tahun 2009 dan resolusi tahun 2010. menjadi orang yang bertanggung jawab. Betapa sulitnya itu, tapi memang benar kata orang memikul tugas dulu baru bisa melatih tanggung jawab. Yups..lulus semester ini adalah tugasku yang pertama. Kiranya ini sesuai dengan rencanaNya.
Menjadi sipend KGD yang baik. Saya tahu itu bukanlah hal yang mudah. Pelajaran ini adalah pelajaran yang paling ditakuti oleh hampir semua mahasiswa keperawatan. YUpz..but I believe I can pass it through.. Semoga Tuhanku. Selama 2 bulan ini, saya mempelajari hal yang di luar dari pada apa yang pernah saya bayangkan sebelumnya, suka duka menjadi negosiator, tetapi sejauh ini semuanya berjalan dengan baik. Semoga akan selalu begitu.

Komitmen
Satu kata yang amat sulit tetapi harus Via latih. Ya Tuhan, terima kasih. Kata inilah yang mengantarkan Via, berani ikut pelatihan penulisan KOMJAK sekalipun hari esoknya adalah hari ujian. Sesuatu yang tidak pernah Via lakukan sebelumnya.

Belajar mempercayai orang lain

Teringat dengan pelajaran Bu Hanny kemaren. Harus bisa berbagi tanggung jawab. Belajar mempercayai orang lain. Membagi kepercayaan dengan orang lain. Ini adalah hal yang paling sulit yang saya masih terus perjuangkan.
Entah apa yang terjadi di masa lalu, saya sendiri mengalami kebingungan, sepertinya ada sesuatu yang salah dengan fase trust vs mistrust yang membuat saya menjadi orang yang percaya setengah-setengah pada orang lain.

Thanks for letting me know those

Komjakers, terima kasih Tuhan, mau memberikan kesempatan Via berproses di KOMjak. Hal yang paling Via nikmati beberapa bulan ini. bertemu bermacam-macam tipe manusia, yang unik.
2006, ade2ku yang baik2, hiks22..senangnya berada diantara kalian..thank U Lord.

Life

Kuliah Analisis Gas Darah dengan Pak Agung kemaren membuat aku semakin sadar kalau ada sesuatu yang salah dengan diriku. Bagaimana bisa aku menjadi perawat jika melihat jarum sutik saja bayanganku sudah jelek. Aku benar-benar ketakutan dan aku tidak main-main untuk hal yang satu ini. ya Tuhan, bagaimana ini, beberapa bulan lagi aku akan bertemu pasien yang sesungguhnya. Bagaimana dengan cita-cita Via dulu yang ingin menjadi dosen. Ya Tuhan dosen = role model. Betapa beratnya ini. semoga Tuhan tunjukkan Via jalan. Sampai saat ini Via tetap percaya, sejak awal kelulusan SPMB Via yang sejujurnya sangat mengagetkan ketika itu sudah bagian dari rencana Tuhan. I have no confidence to make it. Show me the way Lord. Tuhan lebih tahu apa yang Tuhan inginkan buat Via. Berikan Via keberanian Tuhan, untuk menghadapi dunia. Via teringat cerita seorang dosen ttg sahabat nya yang juga dosen seperti dirinya. Dulunya beliau benar2 tidak mau menjadi perawat, tetapi pada akhirnya beliau bisa. Dan bahkan I really adore her..She is very smart, You know.
Mudah2n April menjadi lebih baik....menikmati setiap proses dalam Tuhan...
:)

Blogger Buzz: Blogger integrates with Amazon Associates

2010-03-27T06:48:00.000-07:00

Blogger Buzz: Blogger integrates with Amazon Associates

Thank U N..

2010-03-24T02:55:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a friend of mine, when I heard a little voice call me.. that's the second day of me for being in M. Island. I didn't know what I was thinking about during that moment, but I guess that a pure feeling have touched my heart.
That's really unconstructive, but I believe that every body has their own sense of humanity. How it couldn't be, when You see a little boy that you guess, 6 years old, came to you and asked for cookies. Almost every day, I watch this scenery, but it would be different when that circumstance happened in a "traditional society"
( as I know that villager has bigger binding in relatives than citizen).
Forget about all. I just want to say thank very much my dear brother. I promise I'll never forgive you. You have been the inspiration of my life. Hopefully You are Ok there, with your grandma and grandpa. "A real life may be different with our imagination but as long as we have Hope, we would be lost".

Love this song very much

2010-02-24T22:56:00.000-08:00

Gita Gutawa, one of my favor. singer right now.. a girl with thousand dreams and talents I guess. Yeah, and absolutely true... I love her song especially this song very much... May be this is one of the soundtracks of my life...

every time i close my eyes
and say my prayer at night
i thank God each day for your love
that gives me wings to fly up high
to reach my dream aim for the sky
you always said

your head up high
smile on your face and wish
that you will always be loved
the stars will lead you every step you take
don’t you ever be afraid
believe in you
and I’ll be there to guide you wherever you may go
thank you for your love, forever

when I am down and the things go wrong
the world against me too
I close my eyes and think of you
and knew what you would say now

your head up high
smile on your face and wish
that you will always be loved
the stars will lead you every step you take
don’t you ever be afraid
believe in you
and I’ll be there to guide you wherever you may go away
giving me my wings to fly high

Gita Gutawa

Unstructured, Confusion.

2010-02-10T22:06:00.001-08:00

Thanks God for always giving me the second chance, and more than that, showing me Your grace through my surrounding. Recognizing the history of life, my past experience with God. He made all things that I thought before as possible things to be executed as the reality. Thank U very much.

Yeah, only Lord who can make it. Dream to be executed but not in my way but by his amazing arts. Thousand things of dream that I have, To be lecturer, to be health educator, until to be the ….. I am to shy to tell that big dream. Sorry. I ask my self . Am I dreaming to much? Looks like I have a lot of ambitions to be executed.

For about 4 years after leaving home for studying at University. I got many things, and actually, my priority of life has changed. Remember at SMA, I always pushed all my power to be the best student, and thanked God for my win in almost all competition I joined.
Right now, to be honestly, I've lost that spirit, spirit to be the winner, spirit to compete with others. I went to the new point of view about God's Will. In the other words, looks like I have been lazy coz I guess that God had have His own Plan that I can't change.
Am I on the right track? Some times this thing makes me think that I have lose my identity. Oh… I'm getting stressful.

Forget about all things above, now I want to write about people who have give their trust in me and made me to be what I am right now… I know and realize that actually all my surrounding have giving their own contribution in shaping me, but I have to write about them because they are people who giving me an very priceless thing " trust". Yeah, Pak Sil, my great lecture in Senior High School, who have encourage me to achieve the greatest achievement of me in Senior High School and Dewi KusumaNingsih, who has put her trust in me on my heart that lead me changing my point of view about campus life. For both of You. Thank U very much.

Hope, this one could be a gift for the special day for my dear twins

2010-01-27T23:49:00.000-08:00

Today is actually, should be a very busy day for me. I had to wash more than 1 bucket of my clothes ( wish anybody can tell me the proper words to describe it). the I continued in joining Rehearsal Session for my friend's graduation. I'm one of the choir's member. Hopefully, We can give the best for tomorrow.

Now I'm in the Directory Office. waiting for some one who can give me directions about " one mission possible " for April.. Oh Lord.. Help us...
Today is also a celebration for my dear twins birthday. 4 years I'm not with them in their birthday. Lifting up a special prayer, health, success, and closer to Dear JC...I'm praying for them.

WD in WD, hopefully, I can reach it....May God be with me....

You laid a side Your majesty

2010-01-26T22:34:00.000-08:00

You Laid Aside Your Majesty
Gave Up Everything For Me
Suffered At The Hands
Of Those You Had Created
You Took All My Guilt And Shame
When You Died And Rose Again
Now Today You Reign
In Heaven And Earth Exalted

Chorus:
I Really Want To Worship You, My Lord
You Have Won My Heart And I Am Yours
For Ever And Ever
I Will Love You
You Are The Only One Who Died For Me
Gave Your Life To Set Me Free
So I Lift My Voice To You In Adoration

this is a great chrsitian song... really a very great word in describing my heart now...
Thanks God for always call me back to YOu... I'm nothing without You

Semangat Via

2010-01-26T22:25:00.000-08:00

1. Riset
2. KGD
3. Anak2
4. Manjemen
6. INEC
7. KOMJAK

Little note about 2009..LOve God's Work

2009-12-01T02:24:00.000-08:00

What a bright day. Yeah, finally I finished my job for this week to be an evaluator of one NGO program. After all, I have enough sleep. I guess I have to do something worthy, kind of meditation for all things happen in 2009, even I'm still waiting, another great work that would be given by God.
2009, I named as the year of calling. Oh, what a great Job, God have done in my life. Firstly, I want to talk about my first experience in USA. What a perfect plan ( don't be boring to thank God). Harmony ( Padi is singing) I love that song. Kind of great wishful. Great song ( even they said that this is imitation). I love it.

First of all, I wold like to thank my dear sister, for her admirable personality. K Pipino my dear sister. The one who shape me to be right now. More manageable. Hehehehee.Miss U very much kak..I really miss u and our concert turn in bedroom. Hahahaha…
Back to the track, went abroad to USA and release all good things that had been mine, is not easy. I bet my achievement for about 3 years and chance to shake Mr. Gumilar hand.. Hehehehe..one of my dream is to meet and shake the head of university's hand… ( looks like very naïve. ( dream of a teenager).., become the best graduate and then finally I have to release scholarship that can make me survive for 1 month without any supply from my mother.

Yeah. I really come out from my safety position. One thing that make me keep going and go a head is support form my great academic advisor. Hem..hem..Thanks Bu santi.

Meet many friends, make friendship in there, broaden my point of view, are a view thing that I learn. And of course, I got new family, IELSP and Oregonians. Hahhahahaha….
I got two more dads.. Papi Zaky and Daddy Andy, 2 new moms ( mami Pingkan n mami Ira, oh sorry , it must be 3 , mba Yuli our Brown mommy..hehehe..and many sisters and brothers there…..
I love them all…

I almost spent my first 3 month without any activities. But I love it. I enjoyed treating my self with all things I wanted. Join seminar, write article, what else, I forget. Hehehehe…
And then in May I started to learn Germany, ( talking about Germany is as same as talking about my dream when I was a kid). Several years ago, when I was 4-5 years old, my parent had a friend from Germany, Mr. Michael. Hehehhe…on the special day, he would treat us by free lunch…hahahhaa..Just information, my mom is really interested in English. She is very good in daily conversation. ( sometimes I ashamed with her confidence in speaking )…hhahaha..but yeah confident is really my mom…
And then, once a while, my father told me that one of his friend is an nuclear engineer and work in Germany ( but that man passed away almost 10 years ago).
Dream about going to Germany made me convince my self to be a nuclear engineer also. ( You know if I remember my dream when I was a little kid, I will laugh and laugh)

In the middle of May, I applied for joining community development in Miangas. Thanks God. I was accepted. You know.. I almost lost the chance. After passed the first selection. I had to watch my friend who was sick at hospital for about 1 day whole. I didn't get call from the committee to join interview session. At 4.30 pm, I got a call from a new number that actually I guessed from Directory.
Yeah…Edit..do you still run for joining Comdev? Sorry, I never resigned or changes my will Sir, replied I. Do u want to attend interview session. It would be over at 5.00 pm. Dangit..I didn't know anything about it? oh sorry…we are still waiting for you. I got Directory Building at 5.00 and met Cantika, one of my friend, who had same story with me. Thanks God.
How happy I am? I really love the moment of brain storming with my friends. Those are really smart. Full of smart idea. I recorded many names like Devi, Eko, Gamal, Patty, Aufa. Those are really smart. Yeah. Thanks for the chance to meet them. A brilliant idea is only come from a dedicated heart. I truly believe it.
I love the way we construct our idea and transform in a program. The way we think deeply about what kind of program will be conducted, what is the target, what should be prepare,bla bla..until the sustainability of our program.

1 week there I felt completely like a University student. I can't believe that people there really put HOPE on our shoulder. I can say that they truly believe that we can solve their problem They state all their expectation, their problem. I remember 1 day, a man from one of the family that I visited ask me help to contact one of chief in Jakarta to ask about his position and job desk…( I forget about that position).
Conducting health education for elderly people, pregnant women, school age children, doing assessment to pre school and infant. I love to do that. And of course conducting our group program, personal care for women and children.

Dewi Kusumaningsih, one friend of mine who has inspired me with her beautiful heart. Thank u for showing us the true. Actually, You have been a very good for me since you give me chance to take one big job in General election of Student Council Leader. That job opened my mind that being apathetic is not the way to solve problem. You have to be involved. Good luck for your Clinical Practice Honey…

After Miangas, there's a lot miracle I got, chance to join international seminar in FKM, and FE ( to be honest, free lunch is one of my target actually). And then, one night 17 Nov'09..at 9.30 pm while celebrating Winda's birthday party, I got call agin from De Kus. Via, lagi kosong nggak, ye dapat rezeki, jadi asisten lab. You know that job is not about laboratory assistant but also became technical editor in Indonesian Nursing Journal. I love that… Love it Love it…because I love everything about research…. Research…I love that..

Then I got call during FE research day, I was accepted to be a volunteer in Research project in Nias. Love it…Reseacrh again…Thanks God..for letting me know… may be researcher in community health nursing area is my future career..hhahahhaha

1 week in Nias, full of great experience, 2 hour from Jakarta to Medan, and then continue by minibus 8 hours to Sibolga, and 5 hours by speed boat…I came to Nias. Conducting kualitatif, in depth interview. Love it. very amazing. I felt like truly researcher when I have to take 2,5 hours to get my respondent to be interviewed, passed the hill and valley, beach and mountain ( hahahahha berle) I love it…I enjoyed doing that..

Little note about 2009..LOve God's Work ( Part 1 )

2009-11-30T23:37:00.000-08:00

Moment of Inspiration ( Part 1) Madeleine Leininger

2009-10-26T01:29:00.000-07:00

Madeleine Leininger, a nurse scientist and anthropologist, has developed the Cultural Care Diversity and Universality theory over the past three decades. She developed this theory in response to her growing conviction that culture dictates the way that individuals should receive care, based on the different ways that cultures meet their basic needs and respond to human interaction (Leininger, 1991). According to her theory "Cultural care involves those facets of culture that deal with individual and group health and well being, including efforts to improve upon the human condition or to deal with illness, handicaps, or death" (Frisch & Frisch, 1998). Leininger (1991) theorized that every culture had access to some form of folk or indigenous health care system and that some, but not all, had access to a professional health care system.

She saw the urgent need for transcultural nursing in the mid 1950's. She also felt that transcultural nursing was an essential nursing and healthcare need worldwide. Transcultural nursing was defined as "a humanistic and scientific area of formal study and practice in nursing which is focused upon differences and similarities among cultures with respect to human care, health, and illness based upon the people's cultural values, beliefs, and practices, and to use this knowledge to provide cultural specific or culturally congruent nursing care to people" (Fernandez, 1997-2001). Essentially, transcultural nursing has focused on understanding cultures and their specific care needs and how to provide care that fits their lifeways rather than assuming professional nurses always know what is best for them (Leininger, 1998).
When establishing transcultural nursing more then four decades ago, Leininger (1998) held that "Care is the heart of nursing; Care is power; Care is essential to healing (or well-being); Care is curing; and Care is (or should be) the central and dominant focus of nursing and transcultural nursing decisions and actions". Transcultural nursing promotes and upholds these ideas because human beings are born, live, work and die within a culture care context and viewpoint. To neglect cultural factors such as one's religion, family ties, and economical, political, educational and technological factors can lead to non-caring and cultural negligence with often non-beneficial outcomes (Leininger, 1998).
-Harmeet, April 2002

taken from:http://www.geocities.com/ninquiry2002/madeleineleininger.html

Madeleine Leininger

2009-10-26T01:09:00.000-07:00

"That the culture care needs of people in the world will be met by nurses prepared in transcultural nursing"
aku suka banget kata-kata ini dan aku benar-benar suka dengan teori transkulturalnya Leininger...
I remember when I joined Mapres Competition last year, I took this field as my topic and brought maternal health issue. I will elaborate it. Let's promote mother health...

my birthday wishes

2009-10-26T00:04:00.000-07:00

hehehehe...
nich Miangas part 2,...mengenai ulang tahun ku. Talking about my birthdays... I have a lot of stories aobut it... I remember that in my 17's birtday.. my name was announced by my school headmaster that I got 1st winner of Olimpiade Biologi in my province and would be a participant of National Biology Olympiad in Riau. ( hahahaha..great gift for my 17)
and then in my 18's birthday, I celebrate on the plane to Jakarta, coz I got place to study in my current University...( very special...)
and then in this year..I celebrate my birthday in Miangas, the Northeast place in my country...
hehehehehe...My friend made me a special birthday cake from layer cake and "tolu" aka fried bread...
they also celebrated my birthday in Church after Eucharistic...hmhmhm...
thanks to Jefri and Mario...for the cake...
and then those are my birthday wishes on FB...
almost 100........
hahahhahaha
thank U friend
A Nh Supomo Happy b'day Via, moga sukses selalu..... Srry ya say telat
10 August at 07:31 •

Dina Eka Putri meski telat..(FB error kemaren)..aku pingin ngucapin Hapy b'day ya..............
10 August at 06:34 •
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Muhandis Shiddiq Happy Birthday! Thanks atas infonya kmrn :)
10 August at 00:20

Maria Yopin Happy b'day viong syg,wah dah tua adekq ini..mg cpt dpt jodoh y.wkwkwk.. Jgn lp olh2 dr miangas,,kangen suara sopranonya viong,hehe..
09 August at 23:30
Adila Prabasiwi kak via.........
met ultah ya....
wish u all teh best...
RoSsy Mof Mat ultah ya kak.. Pnjg umur, shat sllu, sukses dlm sgala hal.. Gbu.
09 August at 17:01 • Remove
Pingkan Maria Walewangko Fulvice..happy birthday yah.. Wish you all the best. Jesus bless you..
Sri Hindriyastuti Hello my dear best friend..hapPy b'day to you..wish all of your dreams will coMe true. AMIN
09 August at 16:52 •
Ria Ulina gw kaga bs bhs inggris, bhs kupang apalagi.. jd pake bhs indonesia aja. HAPPY BIRTHDAY sista! :D
09 August at 16:42
LuKina DiaNa Via..happy b'day y...
wish u all d best...^^
amiin... GBU
09 August at 16:10 •
Patria Nurhari Slamat ulang taun.. Wish u all d best! :)
09 August at 15:35 •
Ladystya Prame Hpy bday ya ka, wish u all d best
09 August at 14:34 •
Wihda Syakieb Via..Happy bday ya..
Wish u all dbest...
Sukses&sehat slalu...
09 August at 14:31 •
Winda Silalahi Kakak..met ultah yah..wish u all the best.GBU..
Kutunggu traktirannya y..
09 August at 13:59 • Comment
Panji Arum Bismantoko via met ultah ya...
09 August at 13:43 • Comment •
Lingga Mahawan Putri Kak via,met ultah yaa..
Smg sukses selalu..=D

Dtnggu traktiran untuk anak P&K nya..
09 August at 13:32 •
Alex Nanlohy Full Happy Birthday ya ....
09 August at 13:13 •
Santy Delang Orinbao Happy birthday..wish u all d best..Jesus loves u..
09 August at 12:58 •
Denissa Faradita Aryani Happy birthday kak!
09 August at 12:54 •
Suci Widyastuti hepi BirtHdaY yah kak,,
smg sukses selalu,, ^^
09 August at 12:50 •
Lingkan Yohana Walewangko Phe b'day k'

Gbu.
09 August at 12:35 •
Veby Manik InChrist emjee sayaaaaaaaaangg . . .

hepii b' bez n blezZ dei iia ^^v

wish u all de bez sisTa...SMNGAAD truz..
coz via mank clluw semngaad . . . .
Ira Ganis Happy b'day fi,mg Tuhan berkati slalu di hr2 slnjtnya.:-D
09 August at 11:55 • Remove
Norbaayah M Young Happy Bday and many many more. Be happy.......
09 August at 11:35 •
Dinadinadina Novenda Happy bday viaa..
Sukses terus yaaa..... :)
09 August at 11:31 •
Woro Adityasari Via.. Happy b'day ya..
Wish u all d best..
09 August at 08:00
Hepi bezday...Wish you all the best...
09 August at 07:45 •
Anwar Parojai Slamat ulang tahun ia
09 August at 06:59 •
Tati Kurniawati Via..met ultah y..wish u all d best..:-)
09 August at 06:32 •
Wolfgang Bobo Xavi Mat ultah Via, ttap smangat, krja kras, no one step back. Syukur pd Tuhan atas kemurahanNya. Sukses sllu. Wish u luck...
09 August at 06:11 •
Sandy Riverman I'm sending you a chocolate cake (in my mind!) for your birthday greetings!!! Just like the one you surprised me with on MY day. Enjoy!!!
09 August at 05:53 •
Intan Mekeng Via,happy b'day sayang..
Wish u all the best..Gbu
09 August at 05:42 •
Rimas Kautsar Aslkm.Wr.Wb.
Selamat ulang tahun ya.
09 August at 05:39 •
Af Affandi Happy bday dikau yg ada dsna. Mg Tuhan membrimu yg trbaik.
09 August at 05:13 •
Arie Puji Lestari Hepi b'day kak via...
Sukses selalu yaah...
:-D
09 August at 03:52 •
Hafiza Elvira Nofitariani happy birthday kak edit!!!! wish you all the best!
09 August at 03:47 • Comment • Like / Unlike • See Wall-to-Wall
Dwi Octa Amalia Happy birthday via,, semoga bertambah kebaikan.. Best wishes 4 u..
09 August at 03:32 •
Made Arini Hanindharputri waaaaaaaaaaaa viaaaaaa...happy b'daaaayyyy!!!!
miss u so bad :(
gbu always my sistah...
09 August at 00:19 •
Dshe Cimothy HappY B!rTHdaY fR!enD..

WisH u aLL d besT!
09 August at 00:12
Jec Son woiiii.... umur brp skr?? 22 taon?? uda matang tuh bwt nikah....hahaha
met ultah ya,,, pokoknya sukses trsssssss...

Andi Baso Tombong Priiit..3x.. Weits, ada yg ulang thun nih. Happy birthday,yg ke 27 ya vi.. (hahaha) smga tmbah cantik segala2nya. Even though you are there in the strange place 4 you, i believe there would be a small miracle you will get.. Happy hari lahir,sweety..
09 August at 11:14 • Remove
Yuni Alberta HIPPIE HIPPIE BELATED BESDEY VIIIAAA SAYAAANNGGG...!!! ALL THE BEST WISHES OF HAPPINESS HEALTH AND SUCCESS TO MY SWEETHEART VIIAA..!!! MAY GOD BLESS EVERY SINGLE PATH OF YOUR LIFE DARLING!!! PURWOREJO WAITING FOR YOUR COMING..HAHAHAHAA..!!! ♥ LOVE KISS AND HUG FROM PRETTY YUNAIII...!!!!
09 August at 10:18 • Comment • Like / Unlike • See Wall-to-Wall

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Indah Sahara heppi birthday via..
wish dbest for u=)
09 August at 10:15 •
Stephanie Wonges Via..hapi bdeii....^^
09 August at 10:12 •
Lussy Manuama met ultah y k2Q syg,

smga pnjang umur,
tmbh PIntar,,dwasa,
sukses dlm kuL.X.

ehm.ehm.uda tua ,,hehehe..
smga smua yg dicita2kan dpt trwjud di tahun ini. . .
-gbu-
09 August at 09:19 •
Sang Difa via...py b'day...God bless you^^
09 August at 09:12 •
Yulia Permatasari Via..py bday yaa
wiz u ol d bezt..sukses ^^V
09 August at 09:03 •
Lorenzo Cocenk Mat ULTA iy...mga panjang umur,suksek slu n' TUhAN MEMBERKAtI.
09 August at 08:45 •
Diwi Purnama Happy birthday ediiiit..... Wish all ur dreams coming true.. Enjoy ur day!^^
09 August at 08:44 •
Rini Nur'aini Happy bday K Via
Wish u all d best :D
Renaldo Luga Selamat ulang tahun ya,,!
09 August at 08:16 •
Agnezz Martirini Ade Via,.Mat ultah ya..mg mkin sukses n trcpai smua hrpn n cita2..GBU
09 August at 08:10 •
Tita Mia viaaa..happy birthday ya,,,wish u all the best. ^_^
09 August at 22:53 •
Imairi Eitiveni selamat ulang tahun.. :)
09 August at 22:23 •
Desy Aryani Putri kakak.
met ultah yaa!
09 August at 22:09 •
Dita Hikmah Permatasari happy b'day yaa kak.
09 August at 21:54 • Comment • Like / Unlike • See Wall-to-Wall

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Velda Manik Hepy bletzday mj..
Gmn kbr di miangas??
Moga tcapai smw yg kw cita2kan yup :)
request: how do i live dunk hhaaa... Gbus..
09 August at 21:03
Deddy Tamnge da Silva Met ultah....

GBU.
09 August at 20:57 •
Inankzt Diny Wodong Via,met ultah ya,suksezz...gbu..
09 August at 20:51 •
Mily Ch Happy Birthday Via ..........Panjang umur & Sukses ......
09 August at 20:46 •
Nona Selo Sola Met uLtah yA kK...
Sukses SlaLu..
Gb
09 August at 20:06 •
Nona Selo Sola Met uLtah yA kK...
Sukses SlaLu..
Gb
09 August at 20:06 •
Mery Sri Kristiani Kotten Edit...selamat ulang tahun y..panjang umur...sukses sll yah.
09 August at 20:03
Noni Dhajo Kak Via..Selamat ULang Tahun ya..wish u all the best.
09 August at 19:48 •
Noni Dhajo Kak Via..happy birthday..wish u all the best.
09 August at 19:46 •
Hanna Putri happy b day cantiq
wish all your dreams come true...SOON
09 August at 19:35 •
Rahmi Amalia via,happy bday y..wish u all dbest..
09 August at 19:18 •
Muhammad Nur Fajar Ka via happy birthday ya!! smoga cepet lulus dgn IPK cum laude! :-)
09 August at 18:56 •
Lucyana Siregar happy bday viaaa.....
pj umur,sehat selalu,bahagia selalu,sukses selalu,makin diberkati dan memberkati ya dek...
*btw,nmrmu tu brp si?td kk sms not sent mulu..pm yak..
09 August at 18:24 •

Memories of Miangas ( Part 1 )

2009-10-21T00:37:00.000-07:00

After all, I got a very good time to tell you a story about my 1 month experience in a small and beautiful island" Miangas". This is a story about hope and "redemption".
Hope to get forgiveness and to give something I can do to one society, which have been patched in the deepest of my heart since I was a little kid. I remember one time my mom asked one of my brother who was studying at university about his community development program. I was excited when he saw me few pictures about his project during community development program.
That made me think what I will do when I am at the same age with him. I had made up my mind to study at university and become a scholar.
The other aspiration is to get redemption. After my big mistake I ever made when I was a very premature student. And made me think that I guess forgiveness is the best thing I should get as soon as possible.
We conducted many programs which were divided into 2 part, daily program and group program.
For our daily or routine program we had to execute 7 programs, there are: developing learning center for people in Miangas, 2). Teaching national songs and traditional games and stories to children 3) Visiting older and sick people, 4) law education, 5) environment healthy program, 6). Maternal and teenager program 7). School aged children healthy program.

It is our own lucky, because we have been selected from many candidates. First selection is making proposal of our wanted activities and then the selected candidates also be interviewed by capable lecturers.
Yeah, it was very different when I knew that I was chosen. I could feel the different between something that you are really want is accepted and a gift. Even though all things in my life ( I believe that are gifts)

Yeah, I'm a university student right now, I have joined KKN, conducted my proposal research, and still one left then, teaching.
Ok, forget about that….Explaination about it will take its own part..hahahahaha…

Shawshank Redemption

2009-10-05T00:48:00.000-07:00

Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption

Summary

Section 1 (pages 15-25):

The novella begins with the narrator, Red, telling us that there’s a man like him in every prison. He is the person who can “get it for you.” He has contacts with the outside (the world outside the prison) and can get things for the prisoners, such as cigarettes, marijuana, posters, alcohol). The things that Red gets the prisoners are not available inside the prison and are considered contraband. They are smuggled into the prison; anyone caught smuggling things into prison are punished. The prisoners are not to tell the guards from whom they received the things that Red gets for them. If they do, Red will send other prisoners to punish them. Red describes himself as a regular “Neiman-Marcus.” Neiman-Marcus is the name of a large department store, so Red is saying that there are many, many things that he can get for the prisoners—for a price, just like a store.

Red arrived at Shawshank Prison when he was 20. He killed his wife, their neighbor, and her child. He was sentenced for three life sentences and will stay in prison for most of his life. When the novella begins, Red has been in prison almost 40 years.

Andy, the main character of the story and the person that Red is talking about, came to Shawshank in 1948 when he was 30 years old. Andy is short, neat, clean, wears glasses, and has red-blond hair. Before prison, Andy was a vice-president of a large bank in Portland, Maine. He was a financial advisor. This means that Andy had an excellent job and is well-educated.

Andy claims he is innocent, and Red believes him.

Andy has been convicted of murdering his wife and her lover, a golf pro named Glenn Quentin, in the lover’s home. Each of them had been shot 4 times. Before the murder, Andy had purchased a gun, gotten drunk at the country club where the golf pro worked, and purchased beer. After the murder, two empty beer bottles, 12 cigarette ends, and tire tracks (which matched Andy’s car) were found near the golf pro’s home. Inside Quentin’s home, the police found dish towels. A witness said he say Andy buying dish towels. The newspapers called Andy the Even-Steven Killer because each body had been shot an even four times—four for him and four for her. Andy was also called a “cold-blooded” killer because guns hold only 6 bullets; the killer had to shoot all bullets into the victims and then re-load the gun.

In court, Andy claimed that he had known about his wife’s affair because he had followed his wife to her lover’s home, parked outside the house for three hours, and then followed them back to the country club. He was very distressed and drank a lot. He had purchased a gun. He didn’t know how the murders occurred. He was drunk and had been drunk since he had discovered the truth about his wife’s affair. On the night of the murder, he had several drinks at the country club, parked outside Quentin’s, the lover’s, house. He smoked several cigarettes, and at midnight he drove home. He said that he did not purchase any dish towels, and that the witness was wrong.

Andy was found guilty of murdering two people and was given a life-sentence. Maine (the state where Andy lived) did not have the death penalty, or he would have been executed.

Section 2 (pages 25-36):

Andy is asked who he thinks killed his wife and her lover. Andy says that he does not know. After 5 years, he had a parole hearing (a group of people met and decided if Andy could be released from prison). He was denied parole (release from prison). Every few years, Andy had another parole hearing, and was denied parole each time. In 1975, Andy was 57 and still in prison.

Red tells the story of a prisoner, Sherwood Bolton. Bolton had a pet bird, a pigeon, in prison. He called the bird Jake. Sherwood was granted parole and before he left prison, he set the bird free. The bird flew away, but a week later some prisoners found Jake, dead in the prison yard. Red tells this story to illustrate how people who are in prison become “institutionalized.” That is, they grow accustomed to living in prison and cannot survive in the outside world once they are released.

In the summer of 1948 Andy asks Red to get him a rock hammer. They are outside in the exercise yard. As a free man, Andy had the hobby of collecting rocks and wants a rock hammer to continue with his hobby while he is in prison.

Initially, Red does not want to get Andy a rock hammer because Red would not get anyone drugs or weapons. Rock hammers can be used as weapons in prison However, Red agrees to get the rock hammer. The cost was $10.

Red mentions that Andy came to prison with more than $500. When Andy first entered prison, he smuggled the money in by concealing it within his body.

Red tells Andy that if he is caught with the rock hammer, he is not to tell the prison guards where the rock hammer came from. If Andy tells, Red will send prisoners to punish Andy. Red gets the rock hammer for Andy and has another prisoner smuggle it to Andy’s cell.

In the next part of the novella, Red describes “the sisters.” The sisters are a group of prisoners who are in prison for committing brutal crimes. They rape and prey on the other prisoners—usually the small, good-looking men. Andy fought the sisters when they tried to harm him, but eventually he failed to fight them off. Andy was raped and badly beaten several times. Andy eventually bribes a prison guard to beat and punish the leader of the sisters, and they leave Andy alone.

Section 3 (pages 36-48):

Andy gives Red a gift, two beautiful polished stones. They took a lot of work and persistence, and they demonstrate Andy’s persistence.

Red also describes an important incident that helps Andy have a different relationship with the prison guards, so that they protect him from the sisters and move him to a much better job in the prison (working in the library).

Andy and Red are chosen to work on a project of re-surfacing a roof at the prison with tar. It is spring and the weather is beautiful. One guard, watching the prisoners working on the roof is a man named Byron Hadley.

Red also tells a small story about the prison warden (the boss of the whole prison), George Dunahy. Dunahy was not an honest man and was fired when he was caught running an illegal car repair business at the prison. Greg Stammas then became the warden. He was a brutal man, and Red describes him as a “cruel, wretched, cold-hearted man” (p. 41). Stammas is also removed from the prison for illegal activity.

As Red, Andy, and the other prisoners are working with brushes and hot tar, the prison guard, Hadley is complaining about the $35,000 he has just inherited from his brother. Red describes Hadley as a “glass is half empty” man. No matter what happens to him, Hadley sees things negatively. Thus, Hadley is complaining about inheriting $35,000 and having to pay taxes on the money.

After listening to Hadley complain, Andy walks over and speaks to him. He asks Hadley, “do you trust your wife?” This question angers Hadley and the other guards, and they are going to throw Andy off the roof. Andy explains that he can help Hadley fill out some government paperwork, and Handley can make a gift to the money to his wife and not pay any taxes. Andy offers to complete the form for the price of three beers apiece for his fellow prisoners who are working on the roof.

And that, Red says, is how a small group of prisoners end up drinking beer on a beautiful spring day, feeling good about themselves. Andy gains the respect of all the men in the prison and the respect of the guards as well.

Section 4 (pages 48-55):

In 1950, Andy is working in the prison library. He is under the protection of the guards, and the sisters are not bothering him any more.

A man named Brooks Hatlen, a college graduate who killed his wife and child, was the former librarian. When he is 68 and ill, Brooks is released from prison. He cannot adjust to being outside the prison system and he dies. He lives for only a year after his release.

Andy is the librarian for 23 years. During his time as librarian, he changes the library from one room with a few books to three rooms with hundreds of books. He is successful in expanding the library because of his persistence. He writes for donations, and little-by-little he is granted the money to expand the library.

During this time, Andy becomes a financial advisor for many of the prison guards. He also helps the warden, Greg Stammas, with the money he makes from his business of selling pills and drugs to prisoners. Andy does not necessarily like helping Warden Stammas. He explains to Red that one can be purely good or purely evil. Most people are not either. People like Red and Andy walk a middle road between good and evil; they “choose the lesser of two evils and try to keep our good intentions in front of you” (p. 53).

For Andy, he has chosen to help Warden Stammas with the money he makes from selling pills, and by doing so, Andy does not have to live with a roommate and is given the freedom to create the library. The library is used by all the men in the prison; they use the books there to get their high school diplomas.

Warden Stammas is eventually investigated for illegal activity and he runs away. Andy remains as the librarian, but he gains a roommate. The roommate stays for only 8 months and is moved when a new warden begins new illegal activity—with Andy’s financial advice. The roommate, Normaden, says that Andy’s cell is always drafty (there is always a cold breeze).

Section 5 (pages 55-67):

This section begins with Red taking about the posters that are in Andy’s cell over the years. Andy tells Red that he has the posters because they help him feel free. He says that sometimes he feels like he can almost step through the pictures and stand next to the women in them. Later, Red understands what Andy means (and why Andy’s cell had a draft).

A bad thing happens to Andy in 1963. The prison has a new warden, Samuel Norton. Norton is a fundamentalist Christian who likes to punish the men with solitary confinement (time spent in a small, dark cell by oneself) with nothing but bread and water. Norton also continues the illegal activities by hiring the prisoners out for work and keeping their money they earn. Andy’s financial advice is very important to Norton, and Norton wants to keep Andy around to help him.

Because of this, Andy is Norton’s victim. Here is Red’s story about what happens to Andy:

A young man named Tommy Williams is sent to Shawshank prison. He is married, and his wife wants him to get his high school diploma while he is in prison. Thus, he goes to the library for help and books. There, he meets Andy. He is interested in Andy and wants to know his story—why Andy is in prison.

Another man, working in the prison laundry with Williams, tells him Andy’s story. Williams says, “Glenn Quentin, oh my god!”

Tommy Williams goes to Andy and tells him the information he knows about Glenn Quentin, the golf pro Andy was accused of murdering. Tommy had been in jail for car theft. While there, he was in a cell with Elwood Blatch, a crazy man. One night, Elwood Blatch told Tommy Williams about a burglary and murder he committed. Blatch said that someone in Maine was in prison for the murders, but Blatch had killed the two people. The people killed were Glenn Quentin and a woman. Blatch worked at the same country club as Quentin, so he knew him.

Andy is very excited about Tommy William's story because it means that there is proof that Andy is innocent of murder. Andy knew someone who worked at the country club who sounds identical to Blatch. He feels that this is a true story.

He goes to the warden with the story, but the warden does not believe him and does nothing about it. Andy tells the warden that it is easy to check the story. All he has to do is telephone the country club and verify Tommy’s story. The warden refuses, and has Andy taken to solitary. Andy leaves, shouting “It’s my life! It’s my life, don’t you understand it’s my life?” (p. 67).

Section 6 (pp. 67-80):

At the beginning of this section, Red describes the American prison system in the 1700s. The prisoners dug a deep pit and then had to live in it. They were given a bucket and some animal skins for blankets. Most men did not survive living in a “pit.”

After his meeting with the warden, Andy is sent to solitary for 20 days. Solitary is a terrible, terrible place. The prisoners walk down 23 steps to a basement. The basement is lined with barrel-shaped cells with round doors. There was very little light. The light in each cell is turned on in the morning and turned off at 8:00 at night. The men are given only bread and water. The prisoners in solitary stay in the cell, alone, and are not allowed out. Solitary is a bad place to be and is used as punishment. The prisoners can hear the rats.

After his 20 days in solitary, Andy changed. He is more somber, and he does not smile. He also asks to see the warden again. His request is denied, but he persists and asks to meet with the warden over and over.

Finally Andy is able to speak to the warden again. He reassures the warden that he will not tell about the warden’s illegal activities (Andy knows about them because he is the warden’s financial advisor). The warden tells Andy that he is not worried about Andy telling anyone.

Andy tells the warden that he is going to hire an attorney to help him and that Tommy Williams will testify in court about what he knows. The warden tells Andy that Tommy is no longer in Shawshank—he has been moved to another prison. Andy is upset because the warden has moved Tommy to another prison and ruins Andy’s chances for getting a new trial (Tommy is not present to testify).

The warden has done this because he wants to keep Andy in Shawshank, helping his illegal activities. When Andy learns what the warden has done, he threatens to not help him any more. The warden tells Andy that he will lose his privileges (he will have to share a cell with another inmate and the sisters will attack him again). Andy complies.

Time passes for Andy, and by 1967, he’s been in Shawshank for 19 years. Andy continues to find and polish rocks. He gives them away to other inmates. However, Andy has changed over the last four years. He is “silent, introspective, and brooding” (p. 73).

In 1967, the mood of the whole prison population was mirrored to the fate of the baseball team, the Red Sox.

One day, Andy tells Red about a town in Mexico called Zihuatanejo. This is where Andy plans to spend the remainder of his life. He wants to have a small hotel.

Andy explains to Red that when his wife was murdered, he prepared for the worse (a life in prison)—he prepared for the hurricane (the worst possible outcome). He had a friend make stock investments for him and get him a false identity, with the name of Peter Stevens. All of Andy’s false identity papers (birth certificate, social security card, driver’s license) and stock certificates are in the name of Peter Stevens. They are all in a safe deposit box in a bank. The key to the safe deposit box is hidden under a rock in a field in the town of Buxton, Maine. The field has a rock wall. At the base of the rock wall is a black rock that does not match the rest of the rocks. Under the rock is a key. The key opens the safe deposit box in the bank that holds all Andy’s papers and stock certificates.

Unfortunately, Andy cannot get his false identity papers and the money from the investments because they are in the name of Peter Stevens. He must be out of prison to get his false identity papers and his invested money. Everything is hidden in a box in a bank. Only the person with the bank box key can get the papers and money. The friend who made the investments and got Andy’s false identity is dead. He cannot give anything to Andy.

Andy keeps thinking about the town of Zihuatanejo. He does not want to wait much longer to get there. He tells Red that he needs someone to help him with his hotel. Red tells Andy that he can’t make it on the outside. Red explains that he has been in prison for a long time, and he is institutionalized. Andy tells Red that he should not “underestimate yourself. . . .you’re a self-educated man, a self-made man. A rather remarkable man” (p. 79).

Andy tells Red to think about it.

Section 7 (pp. 80-91)

Red begins this section of the novella with a description of “jailbreaks” (attempts to escape from the prison). The successful jailbreaks were done suddenly and quickly. At first, men escaped in laundry carts, hidden in loads of clean sheets. However, the prison guards find out about this means of escape and stop it.

Warden Norton has a program (called the Inside-Out program). In this program, the warden hires out the prisoners to various projects (road work, field clearing, ditch digging, laying pipe, etc.). The warden keeps the money the prisoners make for his own use (he steals from the men by making them work for free, and he keeps their wages). Andy helps him invest and hide this money.

The prisoners who work in the Inside-Out program sometimes escape. They simply walk away when the guards are not watching.

Red tells the story of two very successful escapes. One was during some Inside-Out work when a guard named Henry Pugh was trying to shoot a male deer. The other escape was by a prisoner named Sid Nedeau. Sid was using a machine to make lines for the prison baseball field. During the confusion of the day-time prison guards leaving the prison and the night-time prison guards entering the prison, Sid walked his line-painting machine through the prison gates. No one noticed him. Red says that Sid is still free.

This section continues with several stories of prison escapes (he was told the stories by a prisoner named Henley Backus who died in prison). The escape attempts were not always successful.

Unfortunately, Andy is not a prisoner who can work in the Inside-Out program and escape. The warden is watching him too closely (he knows that Andy is very smart and will attempt to escape).

However, in 1975, Andy escapes from Shawshank prison. Red thinks that Andy escapes, finds his false identity papers and stock certificates, gets his stock money, and goes to Zihuatenejo, Mexico to open a small hotel.

Red tells the story of Andy’s escape.

When the guards open the cells at 6:30 a.m. so the prisoners can go to breakfast, Andy is not in his cell. He was there the night before, but he is missing the next morning—and his cell is locked the whole night. The guards search the whole prison, looking for Andy. Twelve hours after the guards discover that Andy is missing, Warden Norton decides to search Andy’s cell.

Andy has had a series of posters of women on his wall. The first poster was Rita Hayworth, now it is a poster of Linda Ronstadt (a famous and beautiful singer). Warden Norton rips the poster off the wall and discovers a huge hole behind it. Norton is furiously angry and orders a guard to go into the hole (the guard is named Rich Gonyar). Gonyar refuses and offers to quit his job by handing Warden Norton his gun rather than go into the hole in Andy’s wall. Norton is more angry and yells. The prisoners hear all the yelling and smile because the warden has been pushed past anger into crazy anger; he’s been pushed past “the breaking strain” (p. 88).

Warden Norton finally gets a skinny guard named Rory Tremont to go into the hole in
Andy’s cell wall. The hole leads to a tunnel that is small and smells horrible.

Red hears all this and is laughing so hard he cannot stop. Warden Norton orders Red to solitary for 15 days. Red hears the rest of the story of Andy’s escape from the other prisoners.

The tunnel that Andy makes in the soft walls of the prison leads to a narrow space between two prison walls. At the base of the walls is a large sewer pipe. This sewer pipe is large enough for a small man to squeeze through to the end of the pipe, which empties outside the prison. The pipe is 1500 meters long. Andy breaks a hole in the sewer pipe and squeezes inside. He has to squeeze through 1500 meters of filthy, stinking, foul sewer pipe with only a small flashlight or matches to light his way. The guards find a set of foot prints at the end of the pipe. Andy has disappeared.

Three months after Andy escapes, Warden Norton quits his job as warden. Rich Gonyar becomes the new warden.

Section 8 (pp 91-101):

In this section, Red tells his theory about how Andy escaped.

Red believes that in 1949 Andy began making a hole in his cell wall with his rock-hammer. He put the poster or Rita Hayworth over the hole his is making. When he entered the prison, he looked for something to divert his mind so that he did not go crazy. Andy became interested in rocks and the walls of his cell. Shawshank prison has walls made of concrete that are softer than normal. He began by carving his name in the walls, but he found that the walls are softer than normal, hard concrete and he decided to see how much of the wall he could remove. He ordered the rock-hammer from Red and the poster to cover his work.

Andy persisted and persisted on carving a hole in his cell wall. He made false pockets in his pants. He put the pulverized concrete and pebbles into these false pockets. He emptied the pockets in the exercise yard, a bit at a time.

He muffled the sound of his work by wrapping his rock-hammer in his rock polishing cloths.

One reason Andy helped the prison guards with their tax returns and other financial papers (and helped the wardens with their financial documents) was that he needed to live in his cell alone. He did not want to get caught making the hole in his wall. Andy made himself useful to the guards and warden so that he was left alone and his cell was not inspected for contraband.

One night Andy broke through the wall. He came to the shaft between the prison walls (the space between the two walls) and he heard rocks bounce off the pipe below. As the prison librarian, he probably had access to drawings of the prison (its walls and pipes). Thus, he knew what the pipe was and where it led.

Red explains that Andy might have escaped earlier than he finally did, but he got scared. Andy was institutionalized and didn’t escape as soon as he could. What if he is caught? What if the key isn’t under the rock in Buxton, Maine?

However, 23 years after he entered Shawshank prison, Andy escapes. That summer, Red receives a post card from McNary, Texas. Red knows that it is from Andy, telling him where he crossed the border into Mexico.

Section 9 (pp. 101-107)

Red begins this section of the novella by saying that he didn’t expect to continue with his story. However, after 40 years in prison, Red is granted parole and is released. He is 58 years old. He had memorized Andy’s story about going to Mexico, and had written the wrong name for the town in his journal (in case the guards ever found it).

Red tells us about working in the grocery story and about how different life is 38 years later.

Red decides to go find the field in Buxton. He spends his weekends going there until he finds a field, exactly as Andy described it. He walks in the field and finds a wall—exactly as Andy described it. He also finds the black rock. Underneath is a letter from Andy and some money.

The story ends with Red traveling to join Andy. He is excited and filled with hope.

( This resume created by Donna Shaw ) Miss U Donna

assignment

2009-10-05T00:46:00.000-07:00

LEGALIZATION OF ABORTION IN INDONESIA

I. Introduction
A. Brief story about abortion
1. Abortion increase Mother Mortality Rate
2. Abortion is an controversial issue
B. Thesis statement: The government should legalize the abortion to protect the safety and health of women and women's rights
II. Counter argument
A. The regulation about abortion is clear
1. Kitab Undang-Undang Hukum Pidana about murder
2. Medical Ethic Code regulates that abortion is permitted only for health reason
B. Abortion is dangerous for women health
1. Abortion can caused complication like hemorrhage, septic
2. Fact: the number of women who die because of abortion
( 50 % women die in Indonesia because of abortion)
C. Abortion against human rights
1. Human being is happening since conception
a. ( Catholic Roman, The Catholic Encyclopedia has a Nihil Obstat, dated 1907-MAY-1)
b. Islam Perspective ( Al- Ghazali, Islamic Scholar ),
2. Abortion is a murder of human being

III. Argument 1: The regulation abortion is unclear right now
A. Kitab Undang Undang Hukum Pidana just explain about murder and it's punishment
1. Chapter 333 : Murder
2. Chapter 334 : Punishment
B. Medical ethic code just tells that abortion is allowed for health reason
1. International medical ethic code
2. The statement of Ikatan Dokter Indonesia ( Association of Indonesian Doctor)
C. Legalizing abortion will give a guidance to the doctor
1. Stage of fetus can be aborted
2. What types of abortion can be accepted
3. Example: in USA : abortion is accepted before 22 weeks of pregnancy
IV. Argument 2: Legalization of abortion protect the safety and health of women
A. Reduce the number of mortality rate of women because of abortion
1. Fact: iceberg phenomenon
2. Estimation of WHO: 68.000 women die/ year because of unsafe abortion
3. Half of all deaths in Asia
B. Reduce the number of morbidity rate because of unsafe abortion
1. reduce risk to get trauma cervix, hemorrhage, septic
2. reduce the hospitalization rate ( WHO : 20-50 % women are hospitalized because of unsafe abortion )
3. Fact: the rate of Peru and Philipines is decrease after abortion is legalized ( safe abortion program )
C. Reduce the practice of illegal abortion in Indonesia
1. Fact :number of abortion in Indonesia
( up to 50 % women die because of unsafe abortion by midwifes
2. Increase the control of abortion
D. Give chance to women to get the best health care
1. The abortion will be conducted by professional health care provider
2. The government will guarantee the accessibility of health care
3. Example: Romania provides abortion in private and public access ( www.who.org)

V. Argument 3: Legalization of abortion protect the women's rights
A. Women's rights are important to consider
1. Being mother is a choice
2. Save from threaten pregnancy/ Right to life
B. Women have right to make decision
1. The owner of their life
2. The persons who will experience pregnancy, labor, bearing child

VI. Conclusion
1. Legalization of abortion give clear guidance to doctors
2. Protect the safety and health of women
3. Protect women's rights
4. Strong recommendation: The government should legalize abortion to give clear guidance to health care provider and protect women's safety, health, and rights.

Thanks to Mama, Mey, Ule, and D' Massive

2009-09-25T00:04:00.000-07:00

Thanks God for everything we got in Life. That's a life learning I got today. You know guys, for about 1 month, I spent my time in vain (in my opinion). But, the question is if it's true. I think it's definitively wrong. There's no vain thing in our life. I learned Germany, the most difficult language I guess. Hehehehe….you know why Germany is difficult for me, coz I have learned English first. For those people who know that Germany is almost similar with Indonesia, read what is written. Hehehehehe….that's why I urge u to learn Germany first before you learn English.
I'm the one who strongly believe in good values of life. What I want to share today is a value that's given by my parent especially my mommy about thanks God everything. I remember that day..10 years ago maybe, when I was an elementary student, I had to drive car to go to school. And my mom always accompanied me waiting for the public car. Almost everyday, I saw an old man walk on the street. He was an officer in chief in one of government office. He went to his office by feet. He always gave his smile for me and my mother and bent down his head. My mom said to me, "Look at him Via. That's what people call the striving of life". "That man has been working for almost his life for the institution but he is still an honorarium officer".
I stared to my mom, and tried to understand what she wanted to say.
It happened for about 10 years ago, but that moment had been recorded on my mind very well.
For one hour ago, I heard one song that have been my favor since the first time I heard " jangan menyerah by D'massive". What a beautiful song, full of moral message. I felt suddenly frightened. I melted.
For about one month after joining community development program in Miangas, I have no things to do. As a student who is very active ( I ever joined 3 organizations at the same time one year ago), being jobless is very strange. But actually, I believe that God will always give me what I need, not what I want for His purpose. That's why I look still quite even I have no money in my pocket. ( I know, it may be wrong cause It means that I don't maximize my effort and capability to get a better life).
Couple days ago also, I talked and discussed with my blessed sister about our life, our dream and many things. Yeah..thank You very much Mei, for make me realize that God had given me chance to earn money with all things in me. Pray for me, my application can be accepted. Thanks God, one offering from my best friend came to me couple days ago, "working on community health nursing project". God bless me. Thank You Lord.
Finally, I have to thank God for giving me greatest mom, that have given me many learning about good values in life. God bless U mom always and forever.

Depok, 23 September 2009
My beloved bedroom

THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK

2009-09-23T01:05:00.000-07:00

1.cari kerja Via...ingat jangan nyantai..udah harus bangun dari mimpi..n mewujudkannya..
2.proyek komunitas..selesaikan via..jangan nyantai..
3. pikirkan ide buat PKM..ingat deadlinenya 5 oktober..

The most comfortable place for me…

2009-09-21T22:26:00.000-07:00

It's about 11.30 pm. I'm alone in my room. Just information for you guys, actually I have 2 other friends in our rooms. But this afternoon they went home for spending their happy vacation with their beloved family ( so sad for me). As a paranoid person this can be a very big problem for me. I don't know but since the death of my father I get problem with my sleeping. I'll talk you later about that…coz it's not the main point I want to share today.
Today, like a several days before (I'm taking academic day off for this semester), I spend almost my whole day in campus. I don't know why but I feel satisfied to be there. Feels like home. Many friends of mine, complaint about their vacation" why they can't visit their family" But honestly neither do I. My campus, home, Miangas, Cauthorn hall, and some place that I've ever visited are the same for me. Always feel likes home. But honestly, my campus is always the best place for (especially since I could use internet after buying laptop last year ago)..hehehe..
Feel free without any pressure to express my anger, happiness, joyful. Yeah..I love UI.. The student here (especially men) is politer I guess than other.
Even though I'm living far from my dear mom, actually I never has feeling that both of us is truly far. I feel close to her. There's a lot of evidence prove that. 3 years ago when I fell down from the stair, I was pain. My mother called me. (You have to know that we use an cellular operator which is very expensive for that moment to call before 11 pm.
The other thing is I believe that my father is always beside me and has become my angel. I feel safe. Hehehehehehe..( you have to know that he is the one who always think of me almost every second of his life)..That's what my mother said several times after my father funeral.
I believe that since the beginning God have established our place, where we can work to and be some one in life. May be Depok will be the place one that my work will be beginning.

Thanks to my dear Lord, who always reminds me to be humble...

2009-09-16T02:06:00.000-07:00

2009-09-16T01:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord, actually I am bored with all things around me. Every time I find something ordinary. I really want an extraordinary life. I remember Kelly Clarkson's song before your Love.
I have to shape again the image of my self, what change I want to be in. I really want to be my self again, Via who is talk active, always criticize all things happen around her, has big curious what, why, and how does anything happen??? Via whom won maNy competitionS. Via whom the name is announced as the best in front of the forum or ceremony when she is an elementary ,junior, and senior high school. Via who is smart and has high confidence. But now, everything ( I guess has gone ) but I really want to win them back...
ehm..those things...
It leads me back to almost 7 years ago, Pak Sil ( my teacher in high school ) came to our class, and asked who wanted to join academic writing Competition. I don't know where encourage came from. I raised my hand and said my name confidently, "Via".
You know this is my first competition after my participation in many academic competitions in my elementary school.
However, Pak Sil, my great teacher supported me and my buddy in the research Jakson. Thanks God, we got the 4 place in the competition. It's not something about win or loose. The most important point is I win back my confident which for about 16 years lose from me. He is my great teacher. Thanks God. I gained my confident after that. Won many next competitions; 1st place for olimpiade matematika, I got 1st place for Lomba Mata Pelajaran Biologi in my province, Lomba Karya Tulis ( 2 years) in my regency, and the most memorable winning I've ever made in my Senior High School is 1st place of Olympiad of Biology and be a participant of National Olympiad of Biology. I love that very much. It broaden my out look to continue my study out from my province.
Almost forget, when I won my second competition ( math. ) I met Ela, my best friend who changes my life and bring me back to Jesus Christ. Thanks God. I know You love me since the beginning. That why I have to say that I became catholic by process.
My faith got down when I wasn't accepted as a student in Faculty of Medicine in University of Diponegoro, just for economic reason. They chose a daughter of Major in my province. Actually until right now, I can't accept this reality. On the other hand I had no other choices. I had promised to my father that If I wasn't accepted in that faculty, I would study in Kupang or in UI. UI ( University of Indonesia), top university in my country, how it could be. If I chose faculty of medicine, I could guaranty that 100% I would be accepted. I had seen how clever of my friends in National Olimpiad one year before. I would just waste my choice. Then I chose Faculty of Nursing…
Thanks God, I could be accepted...to be continued

The soundtrack of MY life

2009-09-16T01:03:00.000-07:00

Lord, for more than 6 months, day after day..I have been trying to realize You calling..and finnaly, I have to say that I can't deny Your Calling..Yeah..wish full thinking leads me to walk on your way..Give me Your wisdom Lord..So day by day I can realize that I have been walking on the track...Life is for humanity...Thanks katon for creating the best song I've ever heard

Negeri di Awan

Di bayang wajahmu
Kutemukan kasih dan hidup
Yang lama lelah aku cari
Di masa lalu
Kau datang padaku
Kau tawarkan hati nan lugu
Selalu mencoba mengerti
Hasrat dalam diri

Kau mainkan untukku
Sebuah lagu tentang neg'ri di awan
Di mana kedamaian menjadi istananya
Dan kini tengah kau bawa
Aku menuju kesana

Ternyata hatimu
Penuh dengan bahasa kasih
Yang terungkapkan dengan pasti
Dalam suka dan sedih

Katon bagaskara

God is shaping me

2009-09-16T00:56:00.000-07:00

God always gives answer for all your pray.. Yeah..that's right and absolutly true. Last night, I experienced in sleeping in. I couldn't close my eyes.. It was 2 pm even I realized that I should sleep at that time. I thought about my mom and my dream. As a girl who grow up in a " conservative society ", I know and realize totally that my dream, my aspiration, and all my ambition may be too high and will get many challenges and obstacles.

I have many big dream HSPH, WHO, Department of Health, UN, Lecturer, Health Educator, Germany, travel the world, and community development. ( I categorize those in three parts: research, academic, and community involvement )

Sometimes, I ask my self.. Via..Am I dreaming too much? Do I deserve to get it? I read from magazine, newspaper, and internet, many people can get all of my dreams ( research, academic, and community involvement )..

thanks God Thursday ( 25/06/09) was big day. I joined conference for student who will join community development to Miangas ( I'll talk later about that ).

I came too early that morning at 8.30 am. I have 30 minutes to do something else.. And I had no idea about that. My eyes catched newspaper in front of me. ( U know that since I became University student, It's rare for me to read news paper..hahahaha, kinda economic reason )...

The tagline which stole my attention is award for scholarly who dedicate their life for humanity and the prosperity of society ) . Oh MG...I can't explain my happines to read that. my brain lightes up ( until right now I think )... They have all things to make their life wealthier ( in material ) if they want.. but they chosed the other way.. Giving with all passion, just giving and sharing. all of them believe in the power of idea... I dea for chaging the society to be better and passion to execute their idea...

I will talk detaily about them later.

They are great teacher, great scientist with smooth heart.

9.30 the conference started and ended at 1 pm for first session. The second session was the great session for me. I found a great role model for me. He have got all of my dreams. he was the perfect role. As a lecturer he teach his student, share his knowledge and give their hope to make their dream, as the scientiest he conducted many researches and made him treavel Indonesia and the world as same as his role in community involment as consultant in NGO and officer in Department of Health.. Oh My Dear God.. Thank U for showing me that, all of my dreams can be true If I want to reach them and give me chance to meet people like them. I believe that every people surrouded me has big role in Your big master Plan ( Shaping Me ).. All I have to do is just enjoying the process. Love U Lord..

Academic writing class..final paper

2009-09-16T00:51:00.000-07:00

Edit Oktavia Manuama

150

February, February 27, 2009

Legalization of Abortion in Indonesia

Abortion is an pregnancy complication that makes big contributions to the death of mothers. In Indonesia, the death of women because of abortion is up to 50% (UNFPA, 2000). Moreover, the number of women's death in Indonesia is the highest in south-east Asia (Analen,C.,2007). Another research shows that the numbers of Mater Mortality Rate in Indonesia during 2002 and 2003 is 307/100000 live births (United Nations High Level Event on the Millennium Development Goals, 2008). Moreover, abortion is still a controversial issue. Some people believe that abortion should be legalized to improve the quality of women's health and prevent women's death. Others believe that abortion should not be legalized for religious reasons. In addition, sometimes there are two sides of people that bring the same issue, like the human rights issue but however, like human rights of baby and human rights for women. The death of women caused by abortion is still a reality. The Indonesian government has target to reduce the number of MMR until 163/100000 live birth (United Nations High Level Event on the Millennium Development Goals, 2008). Despite the controversy, though women should die from abortions. The government should legalize abortion to give clear guidance to health care providers, protect the safety and health of women and women's rights.

There are three points of views from people who disagree with abortion. Firstly, they state that the regulations about abortion are clear. The regulations are Kitab Undang- Undang Hukum Pidana or Indonesian Crime Code and Kode Etik Kedokteran Indonesia or Indonesian Medical Ethic Code. Kitab Undang-Undang Hukum Pidana (KUHP) explains about abortion and its punishment, especially in chapter 347, 348, and 349 ( Kitab Undang- Undang Hukum Pedana, n.d ). Moreover, Indonesian Medical Code states that the doctor should protect the life of patient ( Kode Etik Kedokteran Indonesia, n.d) Secondly, people say that abortion is against human rights and is a murder. For example, Catholic Romans believe that human beings are made at the beginning of conception and views abortion as the murder of innocent people (BBC, n.d). Finally, they say that abortion can cause complications like hemorrhage and sepsis which lead to the death of women. It seems to be true evidence because it shows that abortion is the leading cause of the death of mother from the total deaths of women in Indonesia (UNFPA, 2000).

However, Abortion should be legalized to make a clear regulation and guide to the doctors and others health care providers. The regulation of abortion is unclear right now. The explanation of abortion in Kitab Undang-Undang Hukum Pidana (KUHP) or Indonesian Crime Code is not clear. Evidently, even the Indonesian Medical Ethic Code is blurred. For example, Chapter 347 "everyone, who intentionally conducts abortion or terminates the pregnancy of women will be punished for twenty years sentences" (Kitab Undang-Undang Hukum Pidana, n.d) and if the women who conducted abortion die, the suspect will be punished for about 15 year sentences (KUHP, n.d). In other chapter, "Every person who aborted a baby with the woman's agreement should be punished for a maximum of five year and six month sentences" (Kitab Undang-Undang Hukum Pidana,n.d, chapter 348). In Chapter 349, it states that if health care givers assist abortion, they will be punished for five years and six months and they will lose their legal practice permission (Kitab Undang-Undang Hukum Pidana,n.d chapter 349). All of the regulations above makes ambiguity for health care providers. Those regulations same with the Indonesian Medical Ethic Code that was still controversial until right now which states that the doctors should save patient's life (Kode Etik Kedokteran Indonesia, n.d). Those regulations look strange for many cases. Imagine a pregnant woman with decomposed cords, diabetic, stroke and other complications that can threaten her life. In one hand, the doctor knows that if she continues her pregnancy, it will threaten her life. It causes a dilemma for the doctor. According to the Kode Etik Kedokteran Indonesia (n.d), a doctor should protect the patient's life, but if not, he will be in trouble. ( Kode Etik Kedokteran Indonesia, n.d ). The conclusion that we can make from all of regulations above, a doctor who conduct abortion should be punished, even tough they conduct abortion for health reasons.

Secondly, legalization of abortion protects the women's rights. When we talk about abortion, we talk about a big issue which is talked by many people around the world. That issue is addressed to human rights. I believe that being a mother is a choice and women have the right to make decisions about their life whether they have a baby or not because they are people who will experience pregnancy, labor and bearing children. Women have right to save their life from threatening pregnancies. The Constitution guarantees the right of every person to get the best health services (Undang-Undang Dasar Republik Indonesia/Amandemen, 1945, chapter 28H).

Thirdly, legalization of abortion protects the safety and health of women for many reasons. Primarily, legalizing abortion can reduce the number of mortality rates. World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that every year, 68,000 women die of abortion and Asia has the highest rate of mortality case of abortion, because half of the incidents happen in Asia (Grimes,et.al, 2006). Secondly, legalizing abortion can reduce the morbidity or the incidence of people who get sick because of unsafe abortion. The evidence can be approved by the decreasing number of women who are hospitalized because of abortion cases. Thirdly, legalizing abortion reduces the risk of getting complications from abortion like trauma to the cervix, hemorrhaging and sepsis. In Peru, Philippines and Brazil after their government legalized abortion, the morbidity rate decreased by their Safe Abortion Program (Grimes, et.al, 2006). Fourthly, legalizing abortion reduces the practice of illegal abortion because of unsafe abortion conducted by traditional midwifes and wrong procedures. For example, after abortion was legalized, the practice of illegal abortion in Romania was reduced (Grimes,et.al,2006). Fifthly, legalization of abortion gives chance to women to get the best from the professional health care because the government will guarantee it. For example, Romania provides abortion which is conducted by professional health care in private and public access (Grimes, et.al, 2006).

In conclusion, legalization of abortion is important. Legalization of abortion will give clear guidance to doctors and other health care providers. Legalization of abortion also protects the women right to get the best health services and make personal choices. Finally, by legalizing abortion, the health and safety of women is protected because women can get the best service from professional health care provider with right procedure. The government should legalize abortion immediately to give clear guidance to health care providers, especially for the doctors and protect women's safety, health and rights.

References

Analen, C. ( 2007). Saving mother’s lives in rural Indonesia. Retrieved February 19, 2009 from website http://www.who.int/bulletin/volumes/85/10/07-031007/en/

BBC.(n.d). Abortion: the Roman Catholic view. Retrieved February 19, 2009 from http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/christianethics/abortion_2.shtml

Grimes, D.A., Benson J., Singh S., Romero, M. Ganatra, B., Okonofua, F.E., Shah, I.H. ( 2006). Unsafe abortion: the preventable pandemic. Retrieved February 19, 2009 from website http://www.who.int/reproductive-health/publications/articles/article4.pdf

Kitab Undang-Undang Hukum Pidana. (n.d). Retrieved February 12, 2009 from www.depkumham.go.id/NR/rdonlyres/35E40064-9769-44AD-8D3A-8BDC7A0E7338/0/UUD1945Amandemen.pdf

Kode Etik Kedokteran Indonesia. (n.d). Retrieved February 19,2009 from http:// library.usu.ac.id/download/e-book/Kode%20Etik%20Kedokteran.pdf

UNFPA.( 2000). Indonesia Up to 50% of Abortion Lead to Maternal Death. Retrieved February 19, 2009 from website http:// www.unfoundation.org

United Nations High Level Event on the Millennium Development Goals.(2008).Retrieved February 19, 2009 from website http://www.un.org/mellenniumgoals/2008highlevel/pdf/commitments/indonesia.pdf

with all my heart, I just wanna say that I really love this paper...Makes me miss my great teacher in academic writing Class..Donna Shaw..Thanks to show me the way to be a good lecturer..

IELSP

2009-09-16T00:43:00.000-07:00

That was a great moment to go a broad with 19 students from different university and region in Indonesia.

Actually I join this program for studying English, but in the bottom of my heart I brought my personal aspirations; to study culture, because the other purpose of this program is to enhance cultural understanding/ mutual understanding. I heard from other student who had joined this program before me that they joined immersion class with other student around the world and made friend there.

What I got in 2 months is beyond that what I thought before. It was a grace. Beside learned English everyday in my academic writing/ reading class, listening and speaking class, I also join American survival, a class about Native American's life and cross culture awareness.

The most impressive class is cross culture class, which we talked about culture, and learn other culture and try to respect those. I learn that different doesn't mean wrong. We talked about food, habit, greeting, hierarchy, time orientation, and others interesting topics which really help me to deal with different situation in class and to make friends with people from different country with me.

In two session of our class we had guest from Russian and Kenya. They present their culture and

I remember my experience, one day, I had a dinner in very plural conditions; with my friends from Saudi Arabia ( Moslem), California ( Agnostic), Bali ( Hindus ). Even my friend from Saudi Arabian said that he is surprised; we can talk each other freely. "I wish that Palestine and other conflict area are same with us talked together without judge each other".

The classes were very plural. I got many friends there; from America, Europe, Arabian, Iraq, Chili, Korea, Japan, China, Taiwan, and many countries around the world which English is their second language. On the other way, the ELI (English language Institute) gave us conversant, volunteers who are very pleasant to help us in daily conversation.

Our friendship is getting along until now. They will visit us in summer.

I broke many bad stereotypes about the other country. For example I met a woman from Iran, I forgot her name. In my mindset, women in Iran don't have chance for getting a better education. I heard from one of my friend that there's no women doctor in Iran, and on the other hand, because of only man who can be a doctor, many women experience their labor in traditional midwifery. They can't continue their study until university. I talked with her for about 15 minutes and I was surprised when he told me that she was a doctor and right now she is studying for getting her master in public health.

If I didn't meet her, may be I will still think that Iran's woman are bad in education

I learned how language can unite us. I can imagine if there's no language which can be accepted by all people around the world, if I don't know what will be happen if there's no English language.

Many memorable moments we made there. The times we spent together Indonesian family there, they are very kind, pleasant and treat us like their kids; we went to Mount Hood to play snow board and took many pictures there, lunch and dinner together. I remember when I was getting cold, one of Indonesian family there, visited me and gave me fried rice. It was the most delicious food I ate there.

The most memorable moment is our farewell party night. We performed Indonesian traditional dance. We sang our traditional songs. We wore our traditional dress from each

Provinces of Indonesia. The show began with Indonesian National anthem. I wanted to cry to be conductor. Most of people there were surprised. You know Indonesian night became top new in Oregon State University newsletter.

Finally I just want to say that this program give me chance to improve my English and to get worthy experience. It makes me more independent, knowledgeable, and value my life.

Opening our mind to the word is the keyword in making connection with others who are different with us. I learn that we can't value or judge someone before we talk with him/ her, and know their mind and what they want. In the other words; how can you know someone, if you never sit in one table and talk with him/ her?

All I want to do right now is combining all values that I got from USA and others culture and find the brand new of me. Hard work, punctuality put high respect to every people are something that I want to struggle right now. Now, I try to stay away from prejudice. I try to see people, I never know before as blank paper.